Does anybody else’s Expectations for their kids exceed the expectations they have for themselves?
We expect our kids to be patient, obedient, kind, selfless, content, self-controlled and likely many other things.
Here’s the problem… I’m not any of those things, at least not consistently.
How can I expect my child to exhibit certain behaviors when I struggle with those same behaviors every day?
On top of all these expectations, kids are dealing with things adults don’t have to.
- They are dealing with emotions they have never felt before. And are expected to control those emotions as though they were adults a lot of the time. I am impatient. I get angry. How can I expect a child not to?
- They are being told what to do by lots of people. And are also expected to obey, sometimes without explanation. I don’t know about you, but I know how I feel when someone tells me what to do. I have to fight that urge inside of me to become defensive and say no. And I’m an adult.
We still have to set expectations for our kids. However, we can hopefully be a little more empathetic by understanding how Difficult obedience is for us.
- They are trying to understand a very big world with very limited information. This world and how to live in it are pretty difficult to figure out. Most everything we already know, our kids still have to learn. We can certainly help them by answering their questions, but it is a process. They will figure it out, just maybe not on our timetable.
To top it all off, they are dealing with the above while also struggling with a sinful heart that wants to only look out for themselves.
This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t expect our kids to behave a certain way. It probably does mean we should cut them some slack. After all, we cut ourselves slack every single day.
We talk a lot on this blog about the difficulties of parenting and rightfully so. But, while our kids can make it hard to be a parent, we can just as easily make it hard to be a kid.
Hopefully by having a lot more empathy, a little less frustration, and answering a lot of questions we can help rather than hinder this difficult phase of their lives.
What action will you take to help your kid through this difficult phase? Leave a comment below.
