How often do you Screw up? Totally blow it? If you’re anything like me, the answer is probably ALL THE TIME! The interesting thing about screwing up is, it’s not the issue. Screwing up is expected. It is known. The issue becomes how we handle the screw up. Do we push it under the rug and hope nobody noticed? Or do we own it, accept it, and acknowledge it?

If we want to skyrocket our impact in our child’s life, we must be willing to teach them through the times we screw it up as well as the times we get it right. We must be willing to ask for forgiveness.

For me this is not a complicated process.  I have pretty much memorized what I say because I have to say it a lot!  The point is not even really in what you say, it’s about the condition of your heart when you say it.

We are Fooling No One

Here’s the deal… your kids already know you are not perfect. They see you screw up all the time. By asking for forgiveness, you are simply acknowledging what they already know to be true. If, however, you are not willing to ask forgiveness and admit when you make a mistake, they will begin to think it is OK to say one thing and do another.

The contradiction between what we say and what we do can be mind boggling. The problem is, we are terrible at seeing our own faults. Dr. Tim Elmore said,

“Mistakes are easier to see in the window than in the mirror.”

How true is that! It is so much easier for me to see someone else’s mistakes than it is my own. The issue is, there is no good that comes out of an inability to see or admit our mistakes. It may make us feel better, but it is destroying our influence and credibility with our children.

As we become ‘do as I say, not as I do’ parents, our kids will take notice. They will see that the values we tell them are important must not be that important because we don’t live them out.

Let’s Try Something Different

This doesn’t have to be the case though. We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to be transparent. Our kids aren’t expecting us to get it right every time. But they aren’t stupid. If our words and actions don’t match up, they will notice. And they will begin to think we are either lying to them about what’s important or that it’s OK for them to do the same thing.

[shareable]We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to be transparent.[/shareable]

This is so unnecessary when something as simple as showing a little humility and asking for forgiveness can completely flip the entire paradigm.

You will both screw it up. But then you will try again. You will do this until one day you will get it right.

As Michael Jordan said, “I’ve failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Failure always comes before success. We will fail. Our kids will see it. The only question that remains is, “Will we ask for forgiveness?”

Question: Have you experienced any positive outcomes from intentionally asking forgiveness from your children? Leave a comment below.