The times we currently live in are new, challenging and can feel like everything is out of control.  The little things that never used to bother you, now do.  And despite your efforts days turn into weeks with little getting done.  It’s like groundhog day on repeat indefinitely.   So in a world that makes you feel powerless – how do you find HOPE.  It’s easier than you think.

Many years ago, when I was in a dark place, Hope had left my world.  I was overwhelmed with running a business, overcoming a turbulent past and trying to be a great Mum, Step-Mum to grief-stricken 8year old, wife and person to everyone – my life was unbearable.  I wanted to find hope. Hope for a better life, a better future, hope that things would get better and hope that I would be able to move forward.

The serenity prayer gave me my first taste of HOPE…‘Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.’  These words couldn’t be more relevant in these challenging times, but lasting happiness needs more than just words – it requires action and change.

10 steps to find hope (follow for a minimum of 30days)

GET UP 1 HOUR EARLY

It is time well spent on YOU.  So set your alarm 1hour early – get up, make a coffee/hot water and lemon, gather your thoughts and sit still in the silence for 5-15mins.  Listen to your inner chatter without judgement. What are your fears?  Be honest with yourself.  What would help you today? What support can you reach out to? Do you need a day off?  In the silence, sit back and gently observe your thoughts.

VISUALISE YOUR GOALS FOR THE DAY

In the silence close your eyes and focus on how wonderful your day ahead will be once you have achieved all you set out to do.  Do be gentle with yourself – you can’t run a marathon until you’re able to run a mile -so use this analogy and think of five goals you want to achieve for the day ahead.  Be still in your thoughts.

WRITE DOWN YOUR GOALS FOR THE DAY

Open your journal and write down the five goals you want to achieve.  No more than five or else you’re setting yourself up for a fall—separate your goals under the following categories; work, motherhood, family and you.

CREATE A SIMPLE AFFIRMATION

…by writing in your journal how you will feel when you have achieved today’s five goals “I love that I have spent quality time with my son.’ Or “I love that I have got on top of my work.’ Or “I love that I have got back on my yoga mat.” Or “I love that I have taken time out for me’.

MEDITATE ON YOUR AFFIRMATION

Focus on your thoughts and feelings. Repeat your affirmation silently to yourself ten times.  Meditating on your thoughts and feelings helps shift them from your short-term memory (temporary fix as it only holds 5-9 items) into your long term memory. The power in this exercise, although invisible, will be felt in your mood, mental strength and energy levels.

EXERCISE

Commit to moving your body daily.  Whether it be in your morning routine or an afternoon walk, just decide what will help you feel good.  Write this down in your journal.  Note that each day’s exercise will vary depending on your energy levels. 

Choose from a morning run, 10minute online yoga/HIIT class to a gentle walk in the park to feed the ducks.  The key is to get into a daily routine that gets your body moving, and there are enough choices, even during lockdown that you can adapt to suit your lifestyle and responsibilities.

DRESS FOR SUCCESS

Sitting around in your loungewear is excellent as a relaxer, but when you need to get control of an out-of-control situation, then you need to do all you can to FEEL GOOD.  Dressing for success is vital for your energy levels.  So, get showered, put on your lippy, go-getter perfume and wear something you feel GREAT in.  It doesn’t matter what you wear just focus on what makes you feel energised and fresh.

SHARING IS CARING

Now that you are dressed for success and clear on your day – it’s time to pass this strength, love and positive energy to your Children.  Start the day with a love-filled family breakfast – this is a gift for you and your children.  Age-appropriately, ask your children what three (5 is too many) things they would love to do today.  Embrace their imagination, let it run free and once you have negotiated with their WANTS. 

Get them to write it down in their journal – ie. Get dressed, schoolwork, watch a movie, playtime, learn a new hobby – this list is not exhaustive.  The beautiful thing about this morning ritual is that you will know more about your children whilst teaching them subconsciously that their opinion matters and their wants in life matter. 

This is a tremendous life skill that will become their norm – knowing what they want and not being afraid to ask for it and knowing they may not always get their perfect day, but that there is still a great alternative.  This lesson you teach your children by a simple family breakfast is a life skill that will serve them well in adulthood – don’t underestimate its simplicity!

TIME STEALERS

Turn off all distractions; TV, Phone and emails.  Plan your workday only to allow phone calls during set times that work for you throughout the day.  Tally these times with your children’s diary – they will be excited for their ‘free time’ – use this window of opportunity for your essential tasks that need your full focus and concentration.

DAILY REFLECTION

Just as crucial for you and your children.  It’s a time for REFLECTION, again, age-appropriately.  Ask your children during bedtime or dinner time “What is the one thing you have loved about today?’ and “What is the one thing you haven’t liked?’ – and then listen. 

As the parent, you can make a better choice tomorrow for your child (ren) based on knowing what makes them happy and what doesn’t.  Do the same exercise for yourself at bedtime in your journal.  Write down the new things you’ve learned about your children and how you can do more of this tomorrow which may be as simple as giving them your time, love and attention. 

Now write down what’s made you HAPPY and what hasn’t – do MORE of what makes you happy, because the more content you and your children are – the more HOPE-FULL you will feel about tomorrow.

HOW TO FIND HOPE: SUMMARY

• Start the day with silent TIME FOR YOU.
• Write in your journal five goals and feelings for the day ahead.
• Meditate to get these goals and feelings into your subconscious mind.
• Do the same daily ritual with your children (age-appropriately).
• Switch off all distractions and block out time in the day for tasks that need your full attention.
• End of day reflection – for yourself and your children.  Take note of your new learnings and take those forward with you tomorrow. 

Living a life filled with HOPE requires you to do something different.  So, follow this action plan for 30 days and you will be rewarded with a hopeful, energised mind and soul. 

And remember, “Where there’s energy there’s Life and where there’s Life – there is ALWAYS HOPE.”

Author bio

Coach Clair is a Life Coach, founder of GROW2TRIUMPH, mother, entrepreneur and survivor of child abuse. Her signature course GROW2TRIUMPH amalgamates her 25 years of learnings and personal experiences to help you nurture your soul, triumph over obstacles, and build your BEST LIFE!  For more information see https://www.coachclair.com/grow2triumph-academy and connect on https://www.instagram.com/_coachclair/. 

The post How to find hope when things seem hopeless appeared first on Motherhood: The Real Deal.