8 happy nights of Hanukkah. To spare your busy holiday brains I'll hit you with the math. That's 32 gifts if you are into that kind of gifting and if you have four kids. Which I am and which I do.
To be clear I am into giving kids gifts 8 nights in a row. The kids, however, don't really care that much. No kid can ever come up with a list or any kind of things that they really want. A nice to have here and there and an occasional oo-ah over something in a catalogue is the kind of help I have in selecting thirty two items.
So either my kids have no imagination or their desires are completely sated. I like to think, since they still play swords in the yard, that their imaginations are in tact and they just happen to be satisfied with what they have. They don't have all of the newest and fanciest stuff either, they just seem to have enough. Which means that, in theory, I should count myself lucky and should't get all wound up about “what to get them for Hanukkah”- am I right here? But I DO.
Because, and here's the crazy - I really want them to want something, anything. I wanted a winter coat for hanukkah once so much that I hid in the racks snuggling it. In like 7th grade. I want them to want something so that I can delight them if it's within our means but also so that they know the anticipation and hope of wanting something and a tinge of disappointment if its not within our means. But alas I can't make them want something - no matter how many glossy magazines I shove under their noses with color coded pens for circling their fondest desires.
So, in the end, we do weird themes like "fancy chocolate bar night" or "name plate for your door night" or the ever thrilling "I donated to your favorite charity night" or "toys I hate but you love night". We do a family swap night. Before you know it eight nights of fun have passed and we are at Target for warm hoodie when a small voice comes over to me holding an adorable toy item and says “can I get this”?
And it is in that very moment that I annually realize (and annually forget) that the fun of surprises and gifts and wanting and disappointing aren't just about the holidays. They are about the every single day - and the vast abundance of lessons that we have to impart through gift giving - hope and delight and disappointment and respect for others who have less - those lessons are for the whole year, not just for holidays and birthdays. And then I always realize that maybe I should stick with the lesson the kids are trying so so hard to teach me - we have enough, it's plenty.
Since this years largely unrequested gifts are already here and ready though, please remind me that I am committed to the "we have enough" theme night... next year.
To be clear I am into giving kids gifts 8 nights in a row. The kids, however, don't really care that much. No kid can ever come up with a list or any kind of things that they really want. A nice to have here and there and an occasional oo-ah over something in a catalogue is the kind of help I have in selecting thirty two items.
So either my kids have no imagination or their desires are completely sated. I like to think, since they still play swords in the yard, that their imaginations are in tact and they just happen to be satisfied with what they have. They don't have all of the newest and fanciest stuff either, they just seem to have enough. Which means that, in theory, I should count myself lucky and should't get all wound up about “what to get them for Hanukkah”- am I right here? But I DO.
Because, and here's the crazy - I really want them to want something, anything. I wanted a winter coat for hanukkah once so much that I hid in the racks snuggling it. In like 7th grade. I want them to want something so that I can delight them if it's within our means but also so that they know the anticipation and hope of wanting something and a tinge of disappointment if its not within our means. But alas I can't make them want something - no matter how many glossy magazines I shove under their noses with color coded pens for circling their fondest desires.
So, in the end, we do weird themes like "fancy chocolate bar night" or "name plate for your door night" or the ever thrilling "I donated to your favorite charity night" or "toys I hate but you love night". We do a family swap night. Before you know it eight nights of fun have passed and we are at Target for warm hoodie when a small voice comes over to me holding an adorable toy item and says “can I get this”?
And it is in that very moment that I annually realize (and annually forget) that the fun of surprises and gifts and wanting and disappointing aren't just about the holidays. They are about the every single day - and the vast abundance of lessons that we have to impart through gift giving - hope and delight and disappointment and respect for others who have less - those lessons are for the whole year, not just for holidays and birthdays. And then I always realize that maybe I should stick with the lesson the kids are trying so so hard to teach me - we have enough, it's plenty.
Since this years largely unrequested gifts are already here and ready though, please remind me that I am committed to the "we have enough" theme night... next year.
This post first appeared on Planbust: Expectations And Other Parental Absurdit, please read the originial post: here
