Me: cool. Yeah. That’s amazing.

Friend: put the ball where it belongs. Other kids will want to play with it too.

Me: I just wanted to say… Okay, yes, I can hold that for you. Please don’t do that!

Friend: put the ball where it belongs. Other kids will want to play with it too.

Me: I just wanted to say that last night was really fun, I really like your friends… Put the Knife back! Do not cut that wire with that knife!

Friend: yes, I’m glad you liked it. I think we should have done more Queen songs, that’s the only thing I would’ve done differently. Stop doing what you’re doing right now. This is not cool.

Me: put it back, put the knife back, put the knife back, put it back please, do not use the knife, do not cut that wire with that knife, yes, I do see that, this is super cool! Great job!

Friend: this is not cool. You can’t be throwing the ball on the roofs. He can’t be throwing the ball on the roofs, tell him he can’t be doing that, this is not cool. We should do more Queen next time.

Me: yes, we should, but I had a great time. I liked all your friends. Do not climb on the table, you can’t climb in the table, Daniel. We don’t climb on tables. Please get of the table. Yes, I see this, this is very cool, you took out that… that… you took out the computer part with the knife. You shouldn’t be using a knife, please put the knife back, Ben, let me see the knife, don’t swing it in the air like this, this is a very blunt knife that you don’t use for cutting, it won’t cut anything, okay you can use it.

Friend: there’s an echo. There’s this echo.

*suddenly conscientious of social and phone call etiquette, silently nodding and giving thumbs up*

Friend: there’s this echo and everyone else is so quiet. There’s a guy with a little boy and another one walking his dog and nobody’s as loud as us, nobody’s as loud as my kids, why is that?

Me: *nodding in sympathy* I know. I don’t know. Get off of there guys.

Friend: stop throwing the ball.

Me: What’s happening, guys?

Friend: how did they fall asleep without you last night?

Me: great. AHHHHHHH! WHAT WAS THAT?

Friend: so that’s good. Means they can do this without you sometimes.

Me: after 10pm.

Friend: oh.

Me: they fell asleep after ten pm. Don’t do that, remember how dad told you yesterday you could choke if you do that?

Friend: they should go on a sleep over.

Me: *uncertain* yes. Don’t say that, that’s gross. Please stop doing that. Please stop doing that. Please stop doing that.

Friend. Yes. They should go on a sleep over. STOP!

Me: DON’T PUSH!

Friend: what does Ben want for his birthday?

Me: OUCH!!!

Friend: stop throwing that ball.

Together: okay, okay, we’ll just, yeah, we’ll, later. Okay, yeah, I know, last night was fun, yes it was, guys!, STOP, STOP, ‘k bye, k’.

Good talk.