The story of Ruby Bridges, the first African American child to attend an all white elementary School in the South has conjured many emotions for me throughout my life. My sentiments evolved from being an African American student at predominantly white schools to being a parent of African American children at predominantly white schools. While the times may have changed, many of the complex feelings about integration remain the same.
As a child, I often wished to see more faces like mine, not just on the playground or as a roommate, but among the faculty as well. Granted my experience was not like Ruby’s in that I did not require armed guards to escort me to school and I did not sit in a classroom absent of other children. I had many friends that I still have connections with today. Like Ruby, I knew my family had high hopes for my success in these new arenas. Honestly, I simply wanted to be accepted among my peers as I think most children desire. Ruby has said that as a child she thought the protesters were part of a Mardi gras parade; her innocence allowed some space from the ugliness. I was much older than Ruby when I started attending predominantly white schools and therefore I was more cognizant of when respect and understanding for cultural and social differences existed and when it did not.
As a mother, I find myself back to balancing the scales: getting the proportions right feels far more daunting as a parent than they did as a teenager. Receiving a prized education does not tip the scales to counter balance a lack of cultural understanding where my children are concerned. I will add that I am most grateful to pioneers like Ruby, her parents, my family and other families for taking such steps in the world. I do not fault or criticize their decisions. I do acknowledge that there are elements to the equation of developing the “whole child” that have not been given their due.
*Diversity in schools should mean more than having faces of different colors. If you are searching for a school to hold your child/ children of color as an equal member of its village, then I suggest you consider asking if the school respects your cultural language. A school shows that it respects your cultural language by striving to understand and incorporate cultural nuances that members of a predominant society may not have exposure to. Diversity is not assimilation. Assimilation is window dressing with no commitment to walking the walk of diversity. The richness of experiencing my children’s culture and understanding their cultural points of reference is just as rewarding for their white peers.
A school that is willing to learn and embrace your cultural language does not dismiss or explain away your concerns with a dogmatic attachment to the way it has always done things. It understands you are not trying to flip the school on its head with your suggestions: the very fact that you are at the school shows you are open to its pedagogy. I understand that conversations about race and culture can make for difficult subject matter especially in the U.S. But in this day and age if I am to trust a school in the co-parenting of my children (yes schools co-parent your children; they are teaching your children many lessons- some academic some not) it must be able to have those very difficult conversations.
Ultimately the level of cultural enrichment and embracing you raise your child with is up to you. You have to determine whether or not you are at ease in navigating those racial conversations with schools. For me, such conversations are necessary and must move from talk to action. An action that says, “I see you and strive to understand that which I do not. I don’t dismiss or belittle your point of view because it is not my own”. The school must realize that you are not declaring anyone a racist, you are simply asking, “have you ever considered viewing said situation this way. And now that you have a window to this view, what are you willing/ going to do differently?” The school should see how beneficial this shift in thinking is for the entire school community.
Cultural languages very among people even within an identified group, remember no one group is a monolith. Yet a healthy awareness of climate and culture lends itself to better relations. There is the infamous “Doll Test” where children identify bad, ugly and other negative terms with the black doll and associate positive terminology with the white doll. Many mothers or children or color are well aware of how powerful those images are and are working to turn the tide on that sentiment at home and at school. As a parent, if you approach the school with ideas of how to counteract that way of thinking, the response should be one of open dialogue not resistance or defensiveness. Your suggestions could vary from one story about brown people does not change things to can we just sing some songs during Black history month. The point is have the conversation and you decide where your level of comfort is in line with the school’s answer.
Positive terminology about people of color is another component of cultural language. Not saying anything negative doesn’t counter balance the effects of negative stereotypes. Constant work, experiences and teaching offset the ill effects of prejudice. There are countless stories around the US about the behavior of children of color being viewed as negative even when it is the equivalent of their white peers. Traditionally, I believe children of color have been told by their parents to behave above and beyond the standard of the well behaved child in such schools. When moments arise and a parent has concerns that his child is being singled out, the school should be aware that “I wonder if “ thoughts are a possibility for such parents. The “I wonder if’s” are normal and the school should approach those questions as such. Again no one is implying someone is a racist. The question is point of view.
If a teacher views a child or color questioning a matter as resistant or confrontational versus viewing a white child’s questioning as inquisitive perhaps a teacher may not be aware of subliminal thought placed there by our society. We all have unconscious buttons that might lead us to act in a way we believe is contrary to our thinking. The point here is for the teacher/ school to be willing to engage this conversation and hear the concerns of the parent: imagine themselves in the parent’s shoes. How many times people of color shook have their heads thinking not again when a white person falsely blames a black person for a crime in order to shake police off the trail?
The “I wonder ifs” are part of the cultural language for many African Americans. When we are followed in the store by security, pulled over by police, turned down for rentals the “I wonder ifs” have played out in our heads. Well, I can only speak from my experience and the examples above are mine. Therefore when I approach a school and I wonder if…, I hope it understands why I have that internal dialogue.
Moreover, when my children are harmed or threatened, I want to know that my children will be protected and held as loved members of that community. I want to know my children are believed, respected and cared for even if it means acknowledging that the injury was done by their white peers. I live in the South and there is a history that speaks to the sense that injury inflicted by the hands of white people bears no need for punishment. This cultural language/ understanding is within the historic belief that a black life does not matter. Some of you might be familiar with the Jim Crow South and how blacks were beaten, terrorized and killed while few if any people were punished for such atrocities. It is most important for me that a school charged with the noble task of educating my children realizes that inaction around such issues sends the message that black lives are not of importance. The inability to see how the school can send such a message is a deal breaker in my family. Here again I speak from personal experience and my response is the school does not deserve the right to educate my children nor does it have my trust for holding them. This tipped the scale to where we say no more.
I am curious about other cultural languages or languages of diversity (Latino, Asian, Native-American, gay, lesbian, disabled). What are some of yours? What are deal breakers for you? More importantly, when we witness a dismissal of someone cultural language (and we say we are a community) then our job/ our humanity is to speak up on behalf of making things right.
*To me diversity in education refers to race, ethnicity, economics, gender orientation, and mental and physical abilities. However for the purposes of this article, I am discussing my experience with racial diversity
