Falling – and staying – Asleep through the night may seem straightforward a task for us adults, but it isn’t always the case for babies and toddlers. From day one the Sleeping patterns of the little people are amongst the most popular subjects for mums’ weekly catch ups. And no wonder, as babies grow their sleeping habits change considerably.
If she continues Crying, wait another four minutes before comforting her again. Double the time you allow her to cry from two to four to eight minutes and so on until she falls asleep. Sounds simple, doesn’t it...
All babies go through periods of restlessness and the changes that their little bodies and minds undergo as they grow into toddlers, preschoolers and teenagers to finally reach adolescence, are so great that we simply cannot demand from our little gems to always sleep through the night just because the children of our friends do.
| Sleeping Baby by http://www.jbtphotoart.com/ |
Thousands of miles away from my parents, studying towards a demanding MA and (very slowly) getting used to the whole ‘I’m-the-New-Born-Mummy’ situation, I found it hard to believe that our daughter would spare us the agony of sleepless nights when she reached four weeks of age. And what a surprise, she DID! It lasted long enough for me to slip into the routine and get the most important assignments out of the way, but by no means was it permanent.
At the age of ten months, my little one started to wake up three to six times a night. She slept in our bedroom, in her cot and I still breastfed her. And indeed the only thing that could possibly Comfort her as her wake up calls increased, were comfort feeds. My immediate solution was to pick her up and cuddle her every time she cried. She would then Fall Asleep and I would gently put her back to bed and if that didn’t work, I would breastfeed her and try the whole thing again. In the end, all three of us ended up sharing the bed, though disappointingly, this did not work as a long term solution. It goes without saying that several consecutive weeks of this new arrangement have taken their toll leaving us with baggy eyes and yawning-our-hearts-out-syndrome. We had to do something about it and fast!
| Dad and Baby |
I first read about Controlled Crying on the internet. It sounded heartbreaking, but promising and although we were concerned about leaving our little girl to cry it out, we understood that we would be helping our child to learn to fall asleep on her own – a very useful skill. Supernanny recommends putting your Baby to bed while she is still awake. When she cries, endure it - however heart wrenching it is – for two minutes and then go to her room and comfort her without picking her up.
If she continues Crying, wait another four minutes before comforting her again. Double the time you allow her to cry from two to four to eight minutes and so on until she falls asleep. Sounds simple, doesn’t it...
And oh dear...Simple it may be in theory but! Three nights of controlled crying and we wished we’d never started it. Our little girl’s crying (even in short intervals) was heartbreaking. Every time we went to comfort her she seemed scared, shocked and looked at us in such despair questioning why it seemed. Yes - I know, being picked up was what she was used to and breaking habits is always tough, BUT subjecting her to this just didn’t seem right. Hence we were back to square one – sharing the bed, but only temporarily. For the next seven days we chose co-sleeping in order to help her recuperate from a newly developed ‘bed-time-anxiety’ and to reassure her and eliminate the bad memories that she now associated with sleep time.
| Mum and Baby by http://www.jbtphotoart.com/ |
Seven days had passed and our little girl calmed down and although she still kept waking up at night for comfort feeds, she returned to her confident and trusting self again. Now was the time to take the next step: transfer her to her own bedroom. It was my hubby’s suggestion and I have to say that I didn’t want our daughter to sleep separately until she was one. I preferred to oversee her at all times.
Nevertheless, with her little room furnished, a pretty mural designed by daddy on the wall by her bed and all the teddies and dolls waiting in anticipation to meet her; it was time to befriend the baby monitor...
Nevertheless, with her little room furnished, a pretty mural designed by daddy on the wall by her bed and all the teddies and dolls waiting in anticipation to meet her; it was time to befriend the baby monitor...
And here comes the biggest revelation of all. Not only did she sleep through the night, but she fell asleep in ten minutes – unheard of! From that moment onwards, she simply slept undisturbed for eleven hours every night (and napped for two hours during the day). We expected lots of heartache and tears, separation anxiety and reluctance. What we acquired surpassed our wildest dreams – silent nights, plenty of sleep, fresh heads and rested souls! The only question remained: how did we achieve it?
We always had a very good bed-time routine – half an hour before sleep time, the whole house was calming down with the TV sounds almost inaudible and mummy and daddy whispering to each other and to the baby. The bath lasted for about ten to fifteen minutes. Pyjamas, milk and story followed. This routine has not changed throughout our daughter’s sleeping disruptions and it has remained the same today.
| Soft Toys in a Basket |
My theory is that the reassurance of love and security is more important than teaching your baby to fall asleep on her own. And no matter how much inconvenience, exhaustion and frustration is inflicted on parents, this reassurance is far more important than our rest. For I believe that only this reassurance converted my child into a good sleeper again.
All babies go through periods of restlessness and the changes that their little bodies and minds undergo as they grow into toddlers, preschoolers and teenagers to finally reach adolescence, are so great that we simply cannot demand from our little gems to always sleep through the night just because the children of our friends do.
After all, even adults who don’t have apparent sleeping problems may sometimes experience sleeplessness due to all sorts of reasons such as stress, bad dieting, an eventful day or a challenging week at work. So rather than train babies to be good sleepers, let’s show them how good sleeping is. With a good bed time routine, loving environment, positive bed time associations and a little patience, your baby will sleep like all proverbial babies are supposed to. As for controlled crying, read on in my next post!
