I remembered my infertility blog as I’m at the wrong time of the month again. I’d visited a gyno during my last af and I had been diagnosed with cervical erosion and a chocolate Cyst in my ovary. For the former, I was prescribed different antibiotics and for the latter, I was asked to have another sonography done during the next cycle to confirm whether it’s truly a chocolate cyst which could be the reason for endometriosis – the extreme pain during my cycles.
However, my MIL had a major Surgery done in the first week of February, so, I’m staying with my in-laws at their place for a few days. The city my husband and I live in is 5-6 hours away, and just 3 days after she came home from the hospital , af made a visit. I had told them I would stay for around 15 days after the surgery, so, it wasn’t possible for me to go back for a check-up during this cycle , so, I guess, I will have to wait till the next cycle to see whether the erosion’s gone and whether I suffer from endometriosis.
My bartholin cyst has become the size of a tomato and I was planning to have it surgically removed on 30th Jan, but then, my MIL wanted to schedule her surgery in the first week of February , so, I had to reschedule my surgery. I had already asked my mom to book tickets to stay with me for a few days post surgery so, her tickets had to be cancelled. Anyway, the doctor had told me the best time to have the cyst removed would be after af has gone as the wounds will heal better, so, it would not have been feasible to get my cyst removed in January..
We make plans, but ultimately, the Lord is the best planner.
My SIL is at my in-laws’ place as she has been advised bed-rest and she keeps talking day and night about her pregnancy, her symptoms etc etc. Anyway, she has a high-risk pregnancy with lots of complications and I pray to God that if He blesses me with the ability to conceive, it should be natural, smooth and stress-free with both me and the child in good health.
I miss my husband. I feel empty, incomplete and lonely without him. Before marriage, I lived with my parents for 25 years, yet I do not miss them the way I miss my husband. Even though our marriage was arranged, in our 4.5 years together, I have become deeply attached to him and he has become my soul-mate. No matter how many times I fight with him or disagree with him, he is my source of seeking solace and comfort. Though the pain of an empty womb is immense, he is the only one who understands the struggle I’m undergoing in my infertility journey.