Congratulations, you are now parents. But do you also remember that you are a married couple? If you have been postponing sex after you had the Baby because you are afraid, you have every reason to be scared. But believe us, you have to make a start, and this article will help you make a beginning.
When should you have sex?
Ideally, check with the doctor about when you can have sex after you have had a baby. In most cases, doctors recommend you to go without sex for about six weeks after the delivery because your Body needs that time to heal from the trauma of childbirth. But once you are ready, come to terms with the following truths about sex after a baby.
1. It will not feel so good
If you expect the sex to be as good as it was before you had the baby, you are wrong. Your Vagina will be very dry and sex can be painful. Even if you have had a C-section delivery, it will not be easy. This is because your hormones are still not stabilised and breastfeeding produces some hormones that can cause hot flushes, vaginal dryness and very low desire to have sex. Your vagina will not be as elastic as before right now, and the pain can be bad. If you are going to have sex, have lots of synthetic lubrication ready. KY jelly can be your best bet for sex at this time.
2. There’s a reason why you don’t want it
No matter what everyone tells you, we get that it is not easy to do it with the body you have post delivery. Your stomach still feels big, there are stretch marks, and not wanting sex because of body issues is perfectly normal. But more importantly, if you are breastfeeding, you release a hormone that keeps your sex drive very low. It is the body’s way of preventing another pregnancy too soon. So it’s not just you. Your body is also not really into sex right now.
3. Your vagina is also different
Having a vaginal delivery will obviously stretch your vagina a great deal. Even if you have had a C-section, your vagina will feel different. It will feel wider, and as we mentioned before, your dropped hormone levels will reduce the amount of elasticity in your vagina. This makes it incredibly difficult to have sex after childbirth.
4. But it is super important to have sex
Your husband has gone for a long period of zero or little sex as have you, and it is difficult for both of you. It is super important to start having some sex when you are ready for it. It doesn’t have to be penetration only. You can also start with kissing or touching each other and then slowly building up to the real deal. Your hormones won’t make you feel like it, but believe us, this is really important for your marriage.
5. Try quickies
Let’s face it, you don’t have the time to have a long session of sex any more. There’s a baby who gets hungry the moment he cannot see you, and this means you need to be available. Worse, you don’t have the time for foreplay now that you need it most. So the only way to deal with this is to accept that quickies are the way to go. Just get started. And while you are at it, don’t let your mind drift to the baby. Focus on what he is doing, or what you want to do and it’ll be a lot easier to do it.
6. Don’t leave it for the night
As we said, sex is a necessary evil after childbirth, but since you want to do it, don’t leave it for the night when you are too tired. If you can, try sneaking in a quickie around afternoon on weekends when the baby is sleeping. Believe us, the entire day and taking care of the baby all day will leave you too exhausted to even consider sex at night. All you’d want to do is go to sleep, and that, as we all know, is not the right frame of mind for sex.
Yes, it is difficult, but sex after a baby is actually better because you bond better and you are aware of more sensations on your body. Plus, you’ll want to do it normally once your hormones settle down. It’ll be even easier to get around to it if you have a second baby. For now, give it a go when you can. Both you and your husband deserve it!
Feature image: Jezebel