He killed it back in the day! You probably can’t imagine him as anything other than the time-tamed man who raised you, but there’s a whiskey hell beast inside of him. From his late teens till when you were born, he was a flannel badass with a killer lip-scarf. There’s a reason you’ll never reach the upper echelons of being life-awesome like him - laws were established to prevent it. Each day he shook the world with how he lived and further cemented his position in the hall of legends.

Then you showed up.

Endless summer ended because he had to raise you. Double fury fists of PBR became double fists of baby bottles. Motorcycle seats became mini van seats. And, late night parties became late night diaper changes. You even ruined all of his pristine wears with your baby fluids. But, he took it all in stride and gave it all up because he loved you.

So hipsters, when you’re walking around with the smug feeling that you’re the most original person in the world and blatantly plagiarizing your dad’s swag, at least admit this for Father’s Day...

Your dad was the Original Hipster and he’s been killing it since back in the day.

Now, lets all take a moment of silence, remove our cycling caps, crack a High Life and say thank you to our amazing dads for everything they’ve done.

1. Jorts

You dad wore jorts before you did and he's got the short frayed denim to prove it. Living the three Rs, he Reused his life-wrecked jeans by Reducing their leg length and Recycling them back into his wardrobe as stylish Danny Dukes. Now every pair of faded favorites could have a second life as his favorite pair of shorts. SO HIPSTERS, next time you're riding a fixie in attire you claim is strictly functional because you can carry your keys and U-lock without having your leg movement constricted, remember this... Your dad wore them because he was helping to save the environment before saving the environment was cool.


2. Mustaches


Your dad had a mustache before you did and he's got a warm upper lip to prove it. His homegrown facial bow tie was the envy-inducing expression of masculinity that confirmed his omega status within the manly community. Looking like two lost caterpillars on his face, that lower nose Picasso got him discounts at hardware stores, heavy machinery rental companies, and lumberyards. SO HIPSTERS, when November rolls around and you're splashing Rogaine on your pathetic 'stache or dyeing it black with Just For Men to make it appear fuller, remember this... Your dad has more testosterone than you will ever have and the proof is sitting on his face.


3. Unkempt Hair


Your dad had unkempt hair before you did and he has the snarled strands to prove it. Long before looking like you just rolled out of bed became fashion-able, your dad's locks were just as out of control as he was. He didn't spend hours meticulously disheveling his hair with $40 product, he earned his look. His lengths were styled with motorcycle joyrides, fistfights, and a touch of "I don't give a fuck." SO HIPSTERS, next time you're running your fingers through your nappy strands in front of a dirty mirror in your studio apartment, remember... Your dad's hair made him look so gnar that people assumed he'd killed a man and gotten away with it.


4. Tank Tops


Your dad wore tank tops before you did and he's got the sunburnt shoulders to prove it. As the noncommittal middle ground of wearing or not wearing a chest covering, these shirts screamed summer harder than the bead of sweat dripping down the sunbathing backside of a Daisy Dukes-clad undergrad. He was a true follower of Bauhaus and lived a "less is more" life style every time he slipped his slender frame into one of these lady magnets. SO HIPSTERS, next time you're calling yourself Rave Heart while dancing the night away in your sweaty party tank, remember this... Your dad was a tank in tops. P.S. Your dad ironically ate luxury food when he was poor before you did too.


5. Ugly Sweaters


Your dad wore ugly sweaters before you did and he's got the embarrassing weavings to prove it. Since before Cosby was a prefix for it and parties were themed around it, your dad was rocking these glorious machine-knit pieces. His collection of knit Pollocks and wearable Warhols were the mullets of clothing, formal enough for work, yet wild enough to party in. SO HIPSTERS, next time you're digging through the racks at the local thrift store looking for the perfect Cosby sweater for your annually unoriginal ugly Christmas sweater party, remember this... Your dad's awesomeness poured into that sweater first and you're tainting the fibers that once touched greatness.


See more »