They are two very different men. I know them very well.

One is negative. He doesn’t say much good about St. Marys. He points out everything he feels is wrong with the place. He finds fault with others and criticizes their performance when he needs to look at himself in the mirror.
The other man sees the great potential of our town. He suggests improvements. He encourages others to do the same. He lends a hand to those in need.

One says unkind things that can be quite hurtful, based on opinion, and not entirely true. He is an expert at raising doubts about peoples’ motivations.

The other says positive things about people. He figures life is tough enough. He would rather try to lift others up than tear them down. He seeks ways of enabling people to perform better, usually through a kind comment.

One doesn’t go to the source to find out the facts. His opinion is based on personal observation. He feels he has the right to say anything, even when it may be horribly wrong.

The other verifies with the source to find out if something is true. He investigates all the facts before coming to a conclusion rather than relying on gossip.

If you get on the wrong side of the first person, he may shun you or judge you without talking to you. If you disagree with him, he often doesn’t want to resolve the problem. He would rather hold on to the grudge indefinitely. He might even try to get back at you.

The second feels life is too short for grudges. The best way to conquer an enemy is to make him your friend. Conflicts are resolved through understanding and love. He treats people with dignity and respect. While difficult to do, he sees this as the only hope for this world. Trying to get back at somebody wastes energy on negative things that could be used positively.

One says things that divide people; the other tries to unite them.

One feels he is right; the other is more concerned about doing right. He seeks advice and input from others, willing to listen to them, and accepting that it might be different than his.

One is a bully trying to push people around. The other leads through example and encouragement.

I like one of these persons. I don’t like the other one at all. Many I know feel the same way.

Who do you think these two people are?

Both of them are me! Might they also describe you at times?

I can be the one I don’t like. If things don’t go my way, it is often easier to complain than do something about it. Sometimes I don’t feel positive about myself, and I find everything wrong with the world instead of me. When I get into this funk, people don’t like being around me. Heck, I don’t even like being around this person.

What do I do to be the positive me? Every morning when I wake up, I ask myself who I want to be. Do I want to make this world a better place or do I want to merely point out its imperfections? Do I want to be a positive influence or a negative one? Do I want to inspire people or drag them down to my level?

Sure, we must speak out against injustice and stand up for what we believe in. However, the way we achieve this is important. We need to resolve problems, not try to hammer the other person into submission. If we have differences, we should keep the channels of communication open to allow for understanding.

Yes, I have been the negative man in this article. If this part of me has hurt or offended you in any way, I apologize. Let’s talk it over and restore our relationship. I am often reminded that I am not perfect. Hopefully you can accept this and forgive me.

I remind myself of the saying, “If you point your finger at someone, there are three more fingers pointing back at you.” I would rather extend the hand of friendship than point the finger of condemnation.

Yes, every day we have the choice of having character rather than merely being one.