Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal
and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend."Watson, look
up at the sky and tell me what you see."Watson replied, "I see millions and
millions of stars.""What does that tell you?" Holmes asked.Watson pondered
for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are-millions of
galaxies and potentially billions of planets.Astrologically, I observe
that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately
a quarter past three. Theologically, I can
see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!"

-> Q: How many military information officers does it take to change a
light bulb? A: At the present point in time it is against policy and
the best interests of military strategy to divulge information of such
a statistical nature. Next question, please.

-> A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty
when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship
under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men.
The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind. The
ensign's
efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he
had
set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his
accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with
a
message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a
radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal
congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according
to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked
one of the unwritten rules -- Make Sure The Captain Is Aboard Before Getting
Under Way."