Why must we always suck when we’re playing in Miami? Once again, the Patriots fall to the Dolphins in their own personal house of horrors, Joe Robbie Sun Life Pro Player Land Shark Hard Rock Stadium. We’ve lived this nightmare before – as recently as last season. But this year’s loss was a new level of repugnance. With 7 seconds left to play, the Patriots allowed the Dolphins not one but TWO lateral passes to get into the end zone. Are you fucking kidding me?!

I can maybe understand a teeny tiny bit when we’re down there in September and its 95 degrees with 100% humidity. But what I can’t understand is why we still manage to lose when their QB is hobbling around and we have EVERYTHING RIDING ON THIS ONE STUPID GAME.

I hulksmashed through my living room, tossing Patriots figurines and memorabilia. I Gronk spiked a teddy bear and heaved a Patriots helmet. I stopped just short of hurling something at my TV (like I did after the 2011 regular season loss to the Giants).

I’m sure my reaction was heavily overdramatic. The Patriots are still going to make it to the playoffs and they’ll still win the division and they can still achieve a first round bye (thanks, Indy and Oakland!) but man, today’s loss stings.

I’m going to need a few days to recover from this abomination.