Today, I am SO proud of myself for not letting Anxiety control me and turn me into a blubbery mess. Firstly, I got a job at a cinema and I am so pleased! It will be very good to have a distraction outside of school, a steady income and a chance to meet new people. Also, I will be pushing my anxiety boundaries every single shift which will be healthy and stop myself hibernating! I had the induction session today which consisted of sitting in a conference room with three other people who had got jobs too and they were all older than me, this new job being their third or fourth. At first this threw me as they all seemed so much more confident and prepared, but I just kept my emotional baggage together and it was all good! Everyone seems really friendly and I have my first proper shift tomorrow! I'm excited! When I walked in, I immediately got that sinking feeling in my stomach which indicates that a panic attack is on its way and somehow I was able to suppress it. I think I was just so busy that I didn't have time to feed the anxious thoughts and let a panic attack fester.
CONQUERING MY ANXIETY LIKE A QUEEN!!
The second time that I defeated anxiety today was getting a taxi on my own. It sounds like such a silly thing to be proud of, but I have never done it before because I was always scared. Seeing as I travel so much by myself and am really independent, it's actually quite embarrassing to admit it out loud. However, I fear the potential small talk that could take place and the directions I'd have to give (which I literally can't do to save my life). However, despite a slight language barrier, I got home in one piece and was fine. I feel like I can just whiz around in a taxi all the time now and it will be no problem! So overall, today has been a very good day and I feel like I have opened some very promising doors for myself. I just need to believe in my capabilities more and focus on the good. I am such a negative nancy at times and I am constantly putting myself down when I'm actually pretty fricking great!!!
