events of inter galaxial import in 2014

frank sinatra was reincarnated as a chipmunk
a cat called thunderbastard was stuck up a tree in essex
a brutal war broke out between Arsistan and Bollocklandia
the genetic link between being a right wing cunt and inbreeding was proven
some fucking twat made a shit album
god showed up on a scooter and told us he didnt exist before flipping off humanity and disappearing in a puff of cherry flavoured smoke
a helicopter crashed into a rocket whilst getting off with a cruise ship
tits were used for feeding babies, much to the outrage of other tits worldwide
religious extremists of all kinds realized how stupidly pig ignorant they were and committed mass suicide
flexible man fellated himself, and was shit at it
a shocking disease broke out in africa, killed bazillions and white people didnt give a shit until one whitey got a runny nose
the french language was standardised until it was logical, clear and without exceptions
the swastika was given its original significance back, but couldnt be arsed so watched telly instead
and finally...
the y2k bug showed up looking a bit embarrassed, apologised for its tardiness and fucked everything up. humanity is now living in mud ditches wearing loincloths made of rupert murdoch's scrotum

bonne putain année!