A lot of the time, books about self love and self improvement can be corny and filled with generic advice that’s not actionable nor particularly inspiring. The self help and self Confidence Book industry is filled to the brim with fakers passing off recycled trash as new wisdom. Many of the writers in the space frankly don’t put very much thought into what they’re writing, and think that those genuinely seeking help will be desperate enough to give any old book a chance.

Still, there are a number of genuinely good, useful self love books out there – it’s just a matter of finding the needles in the haystack. There are plenty of effective self esteem books out there that will help you (hopefully) figure out the roots of your any issues you might have. That’s why we worked hard to compile a list of books about self love that will open up your eyes to the things that you (rightly) should love about yourself.

The best books on building self confidence and about self esteem should contain lessons that are applicable in some way to almost anybody. Even if you’re generally a confident, secure person, chances are there are specific things that you feel inadequate about, or days where you don’t feel your best. After all, nobody is immune to negative emotions, and nobody has all the answers all the time.

Luckily for you, we’ve put together a list of the best self love books, so you don’t have to go searching for the perfect book that will help you boost your self confidence. Here are five of the best books to help with self esteem and confidence that are on the market today.

(Note: we were biased towards books written relatively recently, since modern life demands modern solutions, and how we feel in 2019 doesn’t neccesarily correlate with how people were feeling in the 1980s. So take this as a list of the best self love books that were released relatively recently.)

The Best Self Esteem Books to Build Self Confidence to Read in 2019

Daring Greatly, Brené Brown

Brené Brown is one of the top leaders in personal development. Her books on building self confidence have landed her at #1 on the New York Times bestseller list five times, which means she’s written some of the top selling self help books of recent years. She’s a research professor at the University of Houston and spent the past 20 years studying courage and vulnerability. These two traits may not seem congruous but Brown believes that we need to be vulnerable in order to reach true courage. Brown is a thought leader who took the long-held beliefs that people had about bravery and turned them on their heads.

One of her bestsellers, Daring Greatly, delves into this idea of how being open and vulnerable can produce great courage in a person and this can drastically change the way a person lives their life, and how it affects every facet of a life – relationships, careers, parenting, and so forth.  Brown spent 12 years researching this phenomenon and came to the conclusion that exposing our fears and experiencing uncertainty is a valiant act that can change lives. Not only does vulnerability open us up to fear and disappointment but it creates a space for love, joy, and acceptance to be born.

In short, when we refuse to show our true feelings and embrace who we are – flaws and all – we get farther away from our best selves – a person who is strong and confident whilst still being cognizant and aware of weaknesses and vulnerabilites. It is through hardships that we get to the core of who we are. Daring Greatly is an incredible journey through difficult emotions that reveals the reward, the courage, that we receive when we make that trek. It demonstrates that self worth isn’t the result of lying to yourself – it’s about looking at yourself in the mirrow honestly, but still being happy with who you are.

The great thing about Daring Greatly is that Brown is an academic, and she brings that level of rigor to her book. You won’t find any fluffiness here – everything she says backed by data – but the book still manages to be a fun read, and the advice dished out in the book us wholly applicable to each and every one of us.

Girl, Wash Your Face, Rachel Hollis

Rachel Hollis is a mother of four and the founder and CCO (Chief Creative Officer) of The Chic Site, a website dedicated to empowering women and helping them through the ups and downs of daily life. She went viral in March 2015 when she posted a photo of herself in a bikini on Instagram. The caption to the post was about how she was proud of her body, stretch marks, flabby tummy and all, because they showed her power as a mother and a woman. The picture circulated around the Web and since then, Hollis has been one of the go-to gurus for female empowerment and self-confidence.

Besides her popular website, she published two of the best self confidence books for women out there, one of which is Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be. The book, similar to her website, encourages women to stop sweeping their own feelings and desires under the rug and to instead embrace who they really are. Most ladies can relate to feelings of low self-esteem about their bodies, their jobs, their relationships, just about everything. Hollis’ incredible book about self love is a wake-up call that life will never be perfect but maybe it’s not supposed to be. She shares her tips on how she manages the chaos of being a wife, mother, and entrepreneur without losing her true self.

Rather than try to balance everything and make it seem effortless, Hollis basks in the untidiness and unpredictability. Once she embraced these imperfections, she saw a huge shift in the quality of her life, career, and relationships. Girl, Wash Your Face is a great read for those who are tired of wearing a mask each day while pretending that everything’s fine. If you’re looking for a book to improve self esteem, this is a great choice.

The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom is one of those self-worth books that stands the test of time, which is why we’ve included it here despite the fact that our goal was to choose the best self help books for confidence that were published recently. That’s how great it is.  Published in 1997, it now has over six million copies in print and it’s been translated into 40 languages. The book calls out the self-limiting beliefs we place on ourselves and provides four truths that appeal to anyone. Often seen as a kind of spiritual code of conduct, the four agreements feel as if they are a breath of fresh air but they’re also so simple.

The four truths embody grace and wisdom, but they’re also incredibly freeing. These concepts are:

• Be impeccable with your word
• Don’t take anything personally
• Don’t make assumptions
• Always do your best

By simply following these four rules, you can drastically simplify your life, and if you’re really following them properly, you’ll come to realize that while there are a huge number of things outside of your control, that you’ve ultimately held up your end of the bargain. And if you’ve done the best you possibly can, ultimately there’s no reason to doubt yourself or feel guilty over. This realization should help you build your confidence, which is why, in a roundabout way, this is one of the best self esteem books out there.

The four agreements can build a firm foundation for anyone regardless of age, gender, or socioeconomic background. Following the four agreements will radically change your life for the better, because once you’re following them honestly, you’ll realize that the only thing you can really do in life is hold yourself to a high standard. What other people think of you, say about you, or expect of you – none of that matters if you’re following the code of life that you’ve set out for yourself.

How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t, Andrea Owen

How to Stop Feeing Like Sh*t is a (as you can probably tell from the title) candid and straightforward self help book for  confidence building specifically targeted towards women. It breaks down some of the most common harmful and counter-productive actions and behaviors that women inflict on themselves.

It goes through these behaviors one by one – from the well documented issue of imposter syndrome, to being too eager to please those around them, to blowing small challenges out of proportion in their own heads. It tackles the most prevalent unhealthy mental habits that women have, explores why they happen, and offers potential solutions to break these negative or unhelpful behaviors. Follow her advice, and you’ll be well on the way to having more self esteem and self confidence. HTSFLS is really one of the best self confidence books out there, particularly for women who harbor self doubt as a result of unhealthy or negative mental habits.

What I Know For Sure, Oprah Winfrey

Oprah is well known for her incredibly popular book club (amongst many, many other things) – but did you know she’s written a good few books herself? This book, What I Know For Sure, is one of the very best self confidence books out there. It encompasses the various life lessons that she has learned throughout her journey from hardship and pain to security and self-worth. After being raised in an abusive household, Oprah worked tirelessly to rise above her circumstances. She is proof that it’s possible to succeed even when life hands you a crappy deck. Oprah shares her personal insights and revelations on a variety of topics: awe, clarity, connection, gratitude, joy, possibility, power, and resilience. The result is essentially a guidebook for anyone wanting to improve himself or herself from the inside out.

The book is actually a collection of the very best from 14 years of Oprah’s monthly columns in O magazine, but the collection has been fully updated and revised. The book feels as if it is a warm hug from Oprah herself, filled with candid essays and humorous recollections from her life. It differs from other personal development books in that it comes from intimate experiences that have shaped her life. Readers should digest these essays one at a time, allowing them to sink in so they can fully understand the wisdoms and teachings that emerge. It’s something that readers can come back to time and time again; it is a friendly reminder that joy can be found in virtually any circumstances.

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