"We had nothing to do", my father said, "Aaron did everything".  I did take control when my brother died.  I did it because it was easier for me to do it than not to do it.  Nobody else stepped Forward, maybe they didn't get a chance to, and I did.  It resulted in a distance between my parents and I.  I think they were angry about what happened and maybe regretful that I did everything at a time when they were too traumatised to.

I can't get that time back, between all that happening and now; or maybe between all that happening and things being perfect.  Except I don't things can ever be perfect now.  They are older, I have a child on the way, I've moved farther away, and things can never follow the natural path they should have.

The hump I've had to get over is that I'm not sure that, if I'd been left to my own devices, I would have ended up where I am in life.  I'm not sure I would have left the area I was living in and I'm not sure I'd be here today in this guise.  The problem with that is that I am here.  A thousand things could have happened between now and then that would have resulted in a completely different reality than this one.  I am here and the present matters.  The people in the present matter and there's no point in looking back.  My new circumstances have helped me move forward because I'm much happier now than I was a year ago.  Be part of the present, of the future, and let the past settle into Dust.