Somewhere, in another universe, there's a version of me that gets up in the morning and loafs around the house all morning. I probably make some coffee and then curl up in the living room and watch "Homes Under The Hammer" while I order stuff from Amazon and eBay. I might go for a mid-morning snooze and then, after a hearty lunch, settle down for a Postman Marathon on cBeebies.
I used to love Postman Pat. Its almost like the perfect world - no stress and everyone is friendly with everyone else. Postman Pat drives around the countryside at his leisure and delivers post to his friends. The worst thing that happens is that someone loses their hat or a tractor runs out of fuel. All the neighbours rally around to help when something does happen and things always work out perfectly in the end. The key quality with Postman Pat's world is that there are no freaks or deviants there. Everyone is normal, friendly, emotionally mature and well-balanced. Nobody is messed up. Not one single time has Postman Pat been physically assaulted or had the wheels nicked off his van. He's never had three penalty points for speeding and he's never been accosted by a desperate housewife while on his rounds.
Still, it would get boring after a while. We all need a bit of excitement now and again, even if the excitement if laced with fear or anxiety. Sometimes things tick over normally for a while and then something happens and its squeaky bum time. Humans thrive on it. Postman Pat wouldn't though. Postman Pat wouldn't last a week in the real world. He's be locked away for his own good and kept sedated with horse tranquilisers.
Early in the morning.... just as day is dawning....