A young man sat in the locker room steaming over a criticism by his military school swimming coach about not hustling. He looked up and saw a new cadet sitting on another bench, just staring at him.

“Quit staring at me or I’ll bust you in the mouth.” The new cadet responded “And I’ll just bust you back.”  Something about the nonchalant, fearless manner implied that guy had been in a lot of fights. Cadets were often sent to military school to cure their street fighting ways. The street fighter’s approach to life was an eye for an eye. You hit me, you’ll get it back but harder. This was a living demonstration of Newton’s law that for every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction.

Applying Newton’s law to marriage: For every disrespectful action by the wife; there can be an equal and opposite unloving reaction by the husband. And every unloving action by the husband; there can be an equal and opposite disrespectful by the wife. Mix in their different view points – and the Crazy Cycle can hum for quite a while.

The key verse to the Crazy Cycle is Proverbs 26:21 Charcoal keeps the coals glowing, wood keeps the fire burning, and troublemakers keep arguments alive. Normally, neither spouse means to be a trouble-maker. Nonetheless, accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vrrooom  goes the Crazy Cycle.

When you hear what you think is a verbal punch and are tempted to throw a nasty response, step back. Was that the Crazy Cycle starting to growl? Instead of throwing a nasty response; remember what God’s Word says.

• A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words cause quarrels. Proverbs 15:1 
• See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. 1 Peter 3:9
• As far as your responsibility goes, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

You cannot control your spouse’s attitude or speech but you are responsible for yours. You can stop the Crazy Cycle. Proverbs 26:20 says, “Without wood, a fire goes out. Without gossip, arguments stop.”  Though this verse directly deals with gossiping; it can also be applied to the Crazy Cycle.