A month ago, I wrote something which I now regret.

It was a post regarding those annoying Anonymous spam comments that bloggers sometimes receive on their blogs.  In all honesty, the post was nothing more than a lazy attempt at a blog post whilst feeling unequivocally uninspired.

But at the end of the post, I challenged anyone who wanted to comment, to do so anonymously.  And anyone who didn't would be forced to meet the wrath of ME RESPONDING IN ALL CAPS.  WHICH KINDA MAKES IT SEEM LIKE I AM YELLING, RIGHT?  I MEAN, DIDN'T THE VOICE THAT NARRATES THINGS FOR YOU IN YOUR HEAD CHANGE A BIT AND START YELLING ONCE I SWITCHED OVER TO ALL CAPS?  IS THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD STILL YELLING?

There.  That's better.

Did the voice in your head switch back to normal talk?  Did he sigh, take a deep breath, and perhaps adjust his collar, as if he just came inside from a storm?

Anyway, the point of this wasn't to tell you about writing in all caps to the people who didn't respond anonymously.  It was to tell you that many people responded under the name "Anonymous," just like I commanded*.

*For no reason, whatsoever.

The thing is, after all of these Anonymous comments on my blog, many more showed up.  In the past few weeks, I have been getting dozens of actual Anonymous spammers on all of my posts.  My phone is constantly vibrating.

At first, I thought that maybe my faux defense for anonymous commenters (and my open invitation for more) had somehow attracted actual spammers, like my blog was some poor female wild animal in heat, emitting an unbearably enticing aroma that gave the wild anonymous commenters no other choice but to ravish it.

And then I thought about it more practically and realized that while it might not be that dramatic, in essence, I was right.  Somehow, with the dozens of Anonymous commenters that I allowed asked to come through, my poor, innocent blog had somehow been flagged as a safe haven for spammers to do their dirtiest.

I blame Google.

So now I have a new thing to worry about.  Not only do I have to juggle writing blog posts and (failing to) respond to all of your actual comments, I also have to manually delete the spam comments that get through the filter.

And all this has taken a back seat to real-world issues.  Like work.  And falling in love.

-Youngman Brown


P.S.  Yes, I'm an information tease.


P.P.S. Sorry that I forgot last time, but here's the answer to my fake go-to fun fact that you might remember from my Ice Breakers post.  For your recollection, here are the four go-to fun facts:

1. I can solve a Rubix cube in two minutes.
2. When I was eleven, I won a contest and illustrated a book about smoking cessation.
3. I own a square inch of land in Texas.
4. The singer Meatloaf said that I was the nicest boy he has ever met.

The fake one was #2.  I have no idea where I came up with that lie.  Nor do I know what kind of pictures an eleven-year-old would be able to come up with about the pain and frustration that is involved when one tries to quit smoking.

I can solve a Rubix cube in two minutes.  It might take me a little longer these days, because I haven't done it in a while.  But if you gave me 24-hours, I could teach you, too.

My parents own a square inch of land in Texas... so that was kind of a lie.  But I'm sure I'll inherit it.

And the singer Meatloaf sang the National Anthem at a Phillies game I was at when I was in grad school, and my best friend and I somehow got to meet him.  And he told us that we were the nicest boys he ever met.  He also gave me an autograph, which my sister has to this day.


P.P.P.S. You might see a decline in my posts in the next couple weeks, but don't worry: I am working on some stuff for the blog to send it in a new direction.


P.P.P.P.S. If you comment on this post anonymously, I will punish you.  I'm not one for threats, but just don't be surprised if my pinky ventures to the left of the "A" key before I start typing.

P.P.P.P.P.S. If you are a male blogger or know a dude that wants to participate in Dude Write, be sure to send them over to participate.  We've had a decline in entries recently (I am mostly to blame for this) and really want to continue doing it.  The new competition starts on Thursday night!