This blog is not for the faint-hearted, the narrow-hipped, the stiff-necked, the thin-lipped, the simpering, straight-laced, content-to-be-decent-folk-for-the-rest-of-our-sorry-days, the constirpated, but basically repressed-and-sinning-and-loving-it hypocrite and Pharisee... because this is THE Profanity Blog. It uses one word, probably against the rules of the blogspotters. But that is part of its charm. This Anglo-Saxon verb, starting with a soft consonant and ending with a hard one (quite the opposite to what happens when the act it describes occurs) is outlawed, so it is very useful when trying to colour or add drama and emphasis to a statement. At least, that is how a gentleman or gentlewoman will use it. To hear it spken as a natural member of a simple, well-articulated statement, intoned in an upper-demographic accent, is to hear it at its best. It is saying in this situation, "Look, I don't believe you are my equal, but I will make a gesture to your working class roots which says 'Let's pretend we could get on in polite society.'" The upper-demographic user of the strategic swear word, especially the educated female of the species, is to be sought for, cornered and the word squeezed out of them. The working classes, on the other hand, use it pretty well all the time, like a dirty handkerchief - as witnessed by the frequency of its use in the victory interviews on the field during the last State of Origin Rugby League. For the rest of us, it serves us as an everyday expletive because of its flexibility. Hit your thumb with a hammer, and a sharp retort featuring a string of them in a song-like fashion, can make you feel better almost instantly. See a beautiful beach, wave, babe, car, surfboard, vista, work of art, or other awe-inspiring object, and a long, soft, drawn out version best suits the mood. The repeated staccato use of the word at high pitch can be used to signal danger, disaster or “Run away! Run away! There’s a monster!” It can also be used as a expletive of joy, as it “you little (verb used as adjective) beauty”. It works best as a signal of high emotion, meaning “I am really, really serious.”, as in “Who the (verb) (verbing) (Verbed) my computer? (Verb)” Or it can be used to say “I have no respect for you,” as in “(Verb) Off!” It’s most amusing rendition in this category is: “(Verb) him and the horse he rode in on.” It can be used to communicate a non-specific state of general malaise regarding an object – “This object’s (verbed)” - or state of affairs – “This whole situation has been (verbed) for a long time.” It can be used as a hold-all for describing a calamatous performance – “He (verbed) up bad!”
OK, this verbing blog is verbing finished.