That is the question. While I very much enjoy chronicling my thoughts and activities daily with the tools provided by Blogger, I worry about oversharing publicly, should anyone I know find my blog. And, so, I hold back on sharing names, even first names, and photos. For a long while I made this blog private, and even quit blogging, but found that I enjoy reading blog posts by strangers and peeking into their lives and getting their perspectives on life so much that it felt hypocritical of me to not make my own blog public. I'm still debating this issue, but in the meantime am keeping it public. It creates a feeling that I am talking to someone besides myself, someone who cares about my daily life.



It does curtail my commenting on other blogs, though, as I have felt self-conscious about thus putting my own blog out there should someone click the link. What can I say? I'm shy and withdrawn, a depressed and anxious introvert who both wants to belong and yet holds back from encouraging others to contact me. Before I made my blog public again I had begun commenting more and more often on other blogs. I don't know, I felt like an outsider and usually my comments received no comment, so I thought why bother if no one cares what I think? Why not resume blogging for myself and if someone cares to comment perhaps it will lead to a blog friendship.

Both of my children avoid social media for privacy reasons, and that is a good thing. Just look at my friend who yesterday shared that his employer has demanded that he give up his first amendment rights and close his FB account. I am retired and don't have that worry, and the older I get the less I care about what people think about me, but I want to respect the privacy of my children and grandchildren. I sneak in a few captures of my grandsons because they are pretty much my reason for living.

While I am duty-bound to take care of Toad now that he is unable to care for himself, and I do love him, don't get me wrong, what I dream of is living close enough to my grandchildren that I can spend time with them while they are still so young and I am not so old that I can't move well. Time is running out, though, and that depresses me. If Toad would be amenable to moving to the states, even for a few months at a time, I could have both him and my daughter and grandsons. Financially this would be difficult due to the high cost of living where they live, but the main obstacle is Toad's stubborn refusal to even consider it. So I am stuck here. Until death do us part, unless his dementia gets to the point where I cannot care for him any longer. I do not wish for that to happen, nor for him to die, although I know he will. So will I. So must we all.  I just hope to get my life, such that it is, together before that happens.

The sun is shining today, illuminating the bright white snow in our yard and on the roof of the chicken coop. I'm obviously in a pensive mood. It is 2:48pm and so far I have accomplished nothing but thinking and writing, aside from tending the woodstove, feeding the cats, and reading some news. Toad heated himself some egg rolls in the microwave earlier but I have eaten nothing and need to cook something for us. He is in bed, as usual, although earlier, before I got up, he tried to revive the dying fire in the woodstove and made a mess of it. He doesn't know what he is doing, and tore up the cardboard box that our cat Owl loves to play in, burning every bit of it in an unsuccessful attempt to burn the stick of wood that had partially burned but fizzled out. I chided him, gently, for this and showed him how to get the fire going again with two twists of newsprint, a small piece of cardboard from a box top, and another stick of wood. Voila! We had a beautiful fire going, throwing heat. Once again I made him promise to put nothing in the woodstove except for wood, and to let me know if it would not burn. He agreed, but will he heed? That is another question of the day, yet I know the answer all too well--no.

After cooking a meal of corn and spaghetti for the chickens, I cooked us some eggs on toast, with a side of toast and jelly. I cooked an egg for Foxy as well. Took my meds and then practiced French via Duolingo, despite this blasted headache. Only Verbs: Infinitive 2 needed to be strengthened in order to return my French tree to gold, so I managed that and, by doing so, propelled my current streak of consecutive days to 136.

Vous n'allez pas croire ceci !

Three of our four cats are sleeping in a row on the sofa. The fourth one, Baby, is sleeping with Toad on his bed. Foxy is asleep at my feet. It is 6:58pm and, although still sunny, it is
+cold outside at -1C (31F). But the forecast for tomorrow is sunny and WARM: 8C (46F)! Be still my heart!

Let sleeping cats lie.

Molly dislikes the camera almost as much as Foxy does. She woke and tried to ignore me, then fucked off.

Owl woke when Molly got up, and then went back to catnapping.

Poor old Tommy is getting so thin.

Our backyard at 7:00pm this evening. Still cold.

Tomorrow I have to mail back two books to the library, as they are due the following day. I renewed one book and am anticipating getting a pouch of new books and DVDs that I've requested.

Now it's time to stop writing and thinking too hard about life, and move on to watch Justified S2E1 and go to bed.

Bonne nuit !


Thanks Be For: A warm home with cats and a dog for company on a quiet day

I'm Reading:  Maud Lewis: The Heart On The Door, by Lance Woolaver (renewed) and The Art Of The Possible, by Alexandra Stoddard

French Lesson Sentence(s) of the Day:

•  Qui va me croire ?  Who is going to believe me?
•  Tu dois garder ta chambre propre. You must keep your bedroom clean.
•  Je dois rentrer.  I have to come back.
•  Ils vont jeter les légumes à la poubelle. They are going to throw the vegetables in the bin.
•  Vous n'allez pas croire ceci.  You are not going to believe this.
•  Il ne faut pas jeter le bébé avec l'eau du bain.  Do not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Photo(s)/Capture(s) of the Day:

Today's Jigsaw Puzzle