YOU ARE SOMEBODY!
I know abusers can make you feel like you need them; how
ever, you don't. There is life without them and a much better one. It doesn't matter your background, ethnicity, social status, or economic status, you have the power and the means to take back control of your life.
If you have children consider them, please. They are hurting watching you hurt. They may not express it to you but they are torn apart.
If you are a child, I know it is scary but you have to tell someone.
ARE YOU STILL THERE?????
If you are, here are some suggestions for relieving yourself and breaking free from the pain of your situation.
- Find an unbiased and non-judgmental person to talk to. If you cannot afford counseling go to your local family services division for help.
- Study the Wheel of Power and Control. (http://www.domesticviolence.org/violence-wheel/) This will help you to see that it is a cycle and things normally don't change.
- GET AWAY! I know it is harder said than done but find as many resources as you can, make a list and get away.
- CEASE CONTACT! Once you get away don't allow them to try to sweet-talk you back, remember this is called the "Honeymoon Stage." They are going to do everything in their power to try and get you back.
- KEEP THE FAITH! You will make it through this knowing that you are stronger and you will never let this happen again.
STILL THERE???
Sometimes when you are a victim of abuse, you don't want a bunch of people telling you what to do about your situation.
How could they possibly understand, right?
Sometimes you have to hear stories of experience and victory. Here is mine, hopefully you can be inspired.
I started being abused somewhere around age 10 (I am 27 now). My abuser was my Father (adoptive.) I was physically, sexually, emotionally and verbally abused for about 15 years. The only reason I didn't sustain this abuse anymore is because I Stopped being in contact with him. I watched him beat my mother on several occasions. He would come home drunk and make sexual advances towards me. He peeped in the window while I was showering. He fondled me in my sleep. He beat me horribly at times. He called me names and always degraded me. I was never good enough.
My spirit was broken for so long. On the outside I appeared perfectly normal and tried to lead as normal of a life as possible. After a while though, this became very hard. I stopped believing in myself, I thought I was a horrible parent, I gave up. Mind you, this happened even after I participated in a domestic violence class. I had let this man break me down so much that I couldn't stand on my own two feet.
About two years ago I started doing some soul searching. I studied abuse. I stopped making excuses for him. I stopped trying to keep loving him even though I knew he was wrong. I stopped trying to make him happy. I started trying to make me happy and I haven't turned around since.
There is hope for you victim of abuse. There is opportunity to make the change that you so desperately need in your life. Realizing the abuse is the first step, after that you will face a whirlwind of change that you will love.
Here are some other resources:
National Abuse Hotline:
http://www.thehotline.org/
National Sexual Assault Hotline:
http://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-hotline
Domestic Violence Help:
http://www.domesticviolence.org/
Safe Horizon:
http://www.safehorizon.org/
Domestic Violence Resources by State:
http://www.womenshealth.gov/violence/state/
http://www.letswrap.com/usadv/
Hopefully these links will help you. Remember YOU ARE SOMEBODY!
LOVE, LAUGHTER AND LIFE
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
