Sifu Sabrina appears on the computer screen, wearing a skimpy green tank top. “Good afternoon, Mr Rolf.” Her garnet lips curve, slant into something like a smile. “What do you want to consult me about?”
Rolf feels barbed-wire hooks gouging his jugular, Sifu Sabrina’s beauty the hook wielder, her husky voice the razor-sharp hooks. His eyes span wider. Holy cow! She’s a knockout!
“I’m planning a vacation in Malaysia," he says. "While searching for hotels, I stumbled upon stories of haunted rooms. For instance, there’s this hotel in Port Dickson. A group of Malay woman attended a workshop there. They took a group photograph after the event. In the photo was an eerie apparition.” A yellow-teethed grimace pulls at Rolf’s face. “Can you advise me on how to repel ghosts if I’m unlucky to given a haunted room?”
“I’m glad you came to me.”Sifu Sabrina runs a set of crimson-edged fingertips through her hair. “Chances of a hotel room being haunted are high after the long travel restrictions. Unoccupied rooms which haven’t see sunlight for two years attract spirits because they’ve been totally dark, totally quiet.”
Rolf’s eyes turn into a zombie stare at Sifu Sabrina’s bosom. “Your ghost-repelling tips, please.” Shit, I must pay her a visit when I’m in KL, maybe wrangle a date from her.
“First, knock before you enter. The ghost will appreciate this courtesy, and leave you in peace. Barging in will annoy it which may result in retaliation. Better still, announce aloud that you’ll be staying for certain number of nights, and ask that you’ll be left undisturbed.”
Rolf adjusts his necktie. “I see, the soft way.”
“Oh?” Rolf’s face crinkles into a scrunch. “Why?”
“The mirror is a gateway to the spiritual dimension. Some spirits also reside in mirrors. Covering the mirror will disallow the ghost to come in through the mirror.” Sifu Sabrina adds with a thinking pause. “By the way, will you be travelling alone?”
Rolf leans sideways to release a butt cheek from compression to fart. “Yes, I’ll be solo.” Guilt crawls through him. Phew! It stinks!
“In that case, if you’re allotted a room with twin beds, put your suitcase and things such as camera on the bed you’re not sleeping on. A vacant bed is inviting to a spirit.” Sifu Sabrina’s mouth flat-lines, deadlier than a corpse in a hospital morgue. “If you’re travelling with your wife, be careful of who you hug while sleeping. This story happened in Genting Highlands. A sleeping man had his arms wrapped around his wife; he awoke to the sound of the toilet flushing. He raised his head and saw his wife coming out of the toilet. Shocked, he looked at the figure in his arms. It had a grotesque face! Leaping out of bed, he screamed and the apparition disappeared."
Rolf’s jaw drops. He closes it and says, “Jesus Christ!”
“Another powerful ghost-busting technique is to burn incense. Invest in a box of frankincense sticks and light one up. Open all windows and walk around the room with the incense stick. Let the smoke waft through all areas, including the bathroom.”
“Not possible. I usually take a non-smoking room.”“Then burn frankincense essential oil. The smell is as effective as the smoke.” A cross between a smile and a smirk hovers on Sifu Sabrina’s lips. “You can also wear a Chung Kwei pendant. Chung Kwei is a Chinese deity who specialises in catching ghosts.” She shifts in her seat.
Rolf shakes his head like a dog shedding water. “As a Christian, I don’t believe in Chinese deities.”
Letting her neutral expression slip, Sifu Sabrina peers at him in a sideways glance. “Never mind that, you can go for a copper bagua amulet. It’s sold online from feng shui retailers. Then get it blessed at any Chinese temple.”
Rolf’s gaze lands on Sifu Sabrina’s bare shoulders for a tick. “That’s great! I’ll consider that option.” Suddenly, all he wants to do is kiss her shoulders, brush her hair aside and kiss along her collarbone until she whimpers. Oh hell, why am I letting this woman play havoc with my emotions?“Finally, keep the room bright at all times. If you’re out, leave the curtains open; also leave the bathroom lights on while you’re asleep. Spirits hate bright lights and will search for another cozy place.” Sifu Sabrina’s hazel eyes hold Rolf’s captive for a moment and his breath hitches as a shock of electricity jolts down his spine. “Have a happy vacation! Thanks for your Paypal payment,”
Rolf logs off the computer and rises to his feet. “Ouch!” The crotch at his pants feels too tight.
/end
