Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. Carl Rogers
Another year is ending, and we look forward to the New Year with hopes in our hearts and sadness for what is past. There are people we may never speak to again that were part of our lives for years or moments. There are places we may never visit again, or maybe we moved houses this year. This might have been a year of big or small changes. Our family grew or got smaller, and families were joined while others disintegrated. Businesses were started, and some ended. Life for some of us will carry on pretty much the same.
We’ve had a tradition of going to The Apple Factory for pie. I’m not sure how many years we’ve been taking a scenic drive to pick up pie, but they closed on December 24th, I drove up one last time, but the shelves were empty and there was no pie to be had. The sign said “Last Day December 24th from 9:00 to 3:00 but it seems they ran out of pies on December 23rd.
We’ll need a new tradition, and maybe I should try making pies. Mom isn’t making pies anymore but she made the best pies. I have her pie crust recipe and when I spoke to my youngest sister she was making a pie for Christmas day. We didn’t have Christmas dinner, we had a lovely big breakfast, opened gifts, and then everyone went off to family for Christmas dinner. We started a Christmas breakfast tradition years ago, and it works, so our daughter and son can go to their in-laws for Christmas dinner and everyone gets Christmas with them on Christmas day.
This year our twenty-month-old grandson enjoyed opening presents and watching him have fun made it fun for us. Children make Christmas special for adults, and adults make Christmas special for kids. Basking in the warm glow of a family Christmas is the dream and if we are lucky that dream becomes a reality. When everyone left, my husband, the dog, and I settled in to watch a couple of movies and enjoy what remained of the day.
The paradox of our time is that we spend more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more comforts, but less time. We have more information, but less knowledge, more questions, but fewer answers. Unknown
It’s time to set our goals for the New Year. What do we want to change, what do we want more of, and what is still possible in our lives that if we work hard at, we can accomplish? What would we consider the pinnacle of success, and if we reach that goal what is the one beyond that? Is our life crying out for change, have we come to the end of an era, do we have a new direction to go in? Do we have decisions to make that will change our lives, but putting off those decisions just delays the inevitable?
In John Eldredge’s book, “Wild at Heart,” he says: “Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.” He says, “Women want to be romanced, an irreplaceable role to play, and beauty all our own to unveil.”
I think he nailed it and there is a lot of scope for us if we get what we want out of life, love, and adventure. Are we as women making our men feel needed, appreciated, and respected? Are our men making us feel loved, beautiful, and irreplaceable?
If we can meet our partner’s deepest needs and desires and they can meet ours we can walk hand in hand throughout life. What if knowing what those needs are is what we need to know, so we can do our best to fulfill them? What if giving someone what we want, instead of what they want, is one of our problems? What if we have to quit trying to make everything better, what if desiring a positive experience is itself a negative experience, and accepting a negative experience is a positive experience? What if we have to let go of trying to control everything and let life unfold and accept the Paradoxes of life? What if trying to be happy is one of the things that lead to unhappiness, and accepting unhappiness leads to happiness?
The world is full of paradoxes and life is full of opposites. The art is to embrace the opposites, accommodate the paradoxes and live with a smile. Sri Ravi Shankar
It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it. Arnold J. Toynbee
Life has three rules: Paradox, Humor, and Change. – Paradox: Life is a mystery; don’t waste your time trying to figure it out. – Humor: Keep a sense of humor, especially about yourself. It is a strength beyond all measure. – Change: Know that nothing ever stays the same. Dan Millman
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