There are no two ways about it; I’ve started to go bald
I’m saddened and I’m sickened, I’m mournful and appalled
At first I didn’t notice and sure ignorance is bliss
But recently my friends have found the need to take the piss

From a landing pad for insects to complaints about the glare
They’ve called an open season with a bounty on my hair
I’ve tweaked and gelled and rearranged and parted to one side
But my ever thinning canopy is difficult to hide

I remember wispy come-overs from when I was a child
And laughing as the wind picked up and fugitives ran wild
The senseless sparse diffusion seemed so shameful and in vain
But time stays still for nobody and now I feel their pain

The sun came briefly out last week and finally sealed my fate
I lathered up in lotion but forgot about my pate
By evening time the heat was radiating from my head
And my alabaster crown was now a glowing lobster red

So I’m doing what they all do and I’m shaving off the lot
A brush-land shorn of thicket’s better than a barren spot
I’ll embrace my new beginning and pretend it’s on my terms
And play the proud baldly though however much I yearn

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