In keeping with my annual tradition (2019, 2018 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008), this New Year’s Eve I’m reflecting on everything that’s happened this year.

My favorite video game of 2020 was, hands-down, Astroneer. Kyeli and I had a blast playing it together, and we co-created amazing stories! Runner-up: Satisfactory. Honorable mentions: Dangonronpa, Crypt of the NecroDancer, Cattails, Elsinore, and Monster Train.

I didn’t read any books that deserve a best-of-the-year accolade. Honorable mentions: A Memory Called Empire, and The Outside by Ada Hoffmann.

I learned more about ADHD, capitalism, philosophy, and sociology.

I played Beat Saber all year long, except for a couple of months where I was doing a bunch of ridiculous things to get my Oculus Rift to work properly. At the end of the year, I was ranked 8200th and the hardest song I had passed was Sandstorm on Expert+.

In January, we were still living in Austin for the winter. I talked with Johnny B. Truant about gender stuff. I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in my left hip. And we started our Tacoma House hunt!

In February, Kelly came to visit and I started having weekly calls with Emma.

In March, Kyeli and I flew to Tacoma while Bastion freaked his shit in the cat carrier. We moved into an apartment to serve as a house-hunting home base. Kyeli’s birthday passed without fanfare, because COVID-19 happened and everything went to shit.

In April, my company went virtual and I helped everyone learn how to do their work remotely. I started seeing a new therapist, Ayako Aizawa, but we turned out to not be a good fit. We made an offer on the Mondo Condo, but it didn’t work out. I started quilting on Fridays.

In May, we started playing weekly Terraria with Dru. Kyeli was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I started working on Limerick Quest, the sequel to Limerick Heist.

In June, we downgraded our Prius to a Honda Fit to save money. I joined Kelly and Emma’s weekly social justice action hour, which I’m still doing.

In July, we celebrated JYule, since we didn’t do anything for Yule in 2019. I fixed my SIBO with a low-FODMAP diet, which I’m still pretty much doing. We found our new house and made an offer! I tried out a couple of EMDR therapists before finding Heather Spreadborough, who is awesome. I worked with her through the rest of the year.

In August, we closed on our new house! But we didn’t move in yet because we wanted to finish the renovations first. SGDQ was virtual but still awesome. I attended my first (virtual) DSA meeting! We had a Flock virtual masterheart. But really, most of what we did in August was play Astroneer.

In September, I drew a diagram that explained everything. Tony, who was supposed to be our contractor for all our home renovations, bailed on us at the last minute. We looked for replacement contractors, but they were WAY out of our price range and we freaked our shit. Amanda saved the day by offering to fly up and do a bunch of handyfiddling! So we hired some specialists for painting, A/C, the patio enclosure, and renovating the hall bathroom, and waited for Amanda for the rest. Last but not least, I finished Limerick Quest and submitted it to IFComp! But really, most of what I did in September was play Satisfactory.

In October, I finally got my Washington driver’s license! I celebrated my 43rd birthday. We went on a birthday journey, during which Kyeli drew the diagram of everything on my body and took the best nude photo of me ever. Kelly and Emma and I started our project to help out Rewiring America. Finally, some of the work-related COVID-related shittiness came to an end.

In November, we waited with bated breath and intense anxiety for the election results, and were relieved and grateful when they finally became clear. We finally moved into our house! Amanda came up for 10 days and did all the handyfiddly things! We had the patio enclosure built. As usual, we failed to do anything special for our 15th anniversary. We discovered that our shower had a leak and needed to be totally redone, so we took out yet another loan and redid it.

In December, the IFComp results were announced – I was stunned and thrilled that Limerick Quest took 4th place! Kyeli and I talked about being poly and having a dog. We found someone to grow stuff in our back garden next spring. Kyeli’s dad died. And I took a long vacation, during which I worked on the house, wrote a song called Space Dolphin, co-created a surprise to be revealed on Kyeli’s upcoming birthday, played Among Us with family, and played lots of League.

In summary, 2020 sucked. It was, for the most part, a year of getting by instead of a year of growth. But despite that, we bought a house, moved in, and fixed oodles of things that needed to be fixed. Despite that, I made significant progress rewiring my anxiety. Despite that, I managed to deepen close friendships as well as my relationship with Kyeli. Despite that, I completely changed everything I eat, learned to cook in an Instant Pot, and kicked my incipient diabetes into remission. 

I’m killing myself by degrees
trying to push and to squeeze.
Embrace and adjust
a new way of trust,
beginning – and ending! – with ease.