Uggh.. I have not had access to the internet on a real computer since last Friday and it has literally driven me crazy. I am happy to be back! I have thought of a million things to blog about since Friday so forgive me if I am “all over the place” in this post.
AND… I promise that this blog won’t be a bunch of “gripes” and complaints (even though I feel like I have made this promise on every recent post).
So… I was out of town visiting family over the weekend in a relatively sleepy little suburban town. We were returning to our relatives’ home after meeting up with some friends for dinner when we saw some people standing near a fire burning on the street. At first, we couldn’t figure out what was going on – was this a bonfire? A campfire? What? It was strange because their neighborhood is so quiet, exclusive, and dark (and near a huge lake) so we couldn’t wrap our minds around the fact that this fire could have been started by stupid or irresponsible people with very bad intentions. However, as we got closer to the fire and the “fire-starters,” it was ABUNDANTLY clear that these people were attempting to cause very real damage.
I drove past our turn and I pointed my headlights on the fire that was just starting to catch on the dried leaves in the wooded area next to a pretty large suburban home. I didn’t even look at the people who were moving quickly away from the “scene.” Without thinking, I grabbed three ½- empty water bottles and jumped out of my car and quickly put out the fire (the fire was starting to spread and if it was about 30 seconds later, I would not have been able to put it out). As I am putting out the fire, I see two people run from the yard of the house closest to the fire. At the same time, from the shadows, I hear someone say “why you putting out that fire?” I was too focused on not getting burned to answer this ridiculous question.
So far so good, right? In my mind, up to this point, I have done what any responsible citizen should do, right? Well, here in the story is where I diverge from smart/responsible behavior. As I get back in the car, that question; “Why are you putting that fire out?” really irked me (and, at the same time, made me realize that these people are young and it is late!!). Again, without thinking, I turn the car around and drive up to the group of 8 teenagers - WITH MY WIFE AND CHILD IN THE CAR! I slow down and roll my window down (this clearly surprised this group of people – 2 ran into the bushes and the rest clearly stiffened up). I had the following exchange:
Me: (asking a relatively stupid question of them): “What are you doing?” or “Why are you starting fires in this neighborhood?”
One of the kids: Whatever, Nigga!
Me: (I didn’t grow up in an era when not EVERYONE could use any derivative of this word): Did you just call me nigger?
Same kid: Whatever!
Me: (opening my door) No, not whatever, did you just call me nigga?
My wife: Don’t engage these stupid kids – let’s go!
Something about her words totally chilled me out and I decided to let it go . Also, it struck me that they couldn’t see me and weren’t calling me a Nigger but trying to be cool and use “Nigga” like we used to use “man.” AND, I am a pretty large GROWN man and nothing good could have come from me confronting a group of kids! So, the adult version of me closed the door, turned the car around , which enabled me to SEE the kids’ faces and some of them were African American. However, while seeing that some of these kids were African American made me feel better about hearing the word “nigga,” it made me deeply concerned that these kids were in this affluent neighborhood, lighting fires. Now, I know that we are in the era of Obama and many of my conspiracy theories are going to fly out of the window if he is elected as our next President but I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT THIS COUNTRY HAS CHANGED SO MUCH that if the police had gotten there in time they would not have singled out the black kids in the group (or, at a minimum, the long-term legal implications for them would be much greater as I KNOW that the law still works in a downward direction).
Anyway, I called the police and told them about these kids lighting fires… We went home and put OUR kid to bed. After he was asleep, my wife got very serious with me and asked me to be much more mindful and thoughtful about “getting involved” with stuff like that- especially since we have a child now! I admit that that made me feel a little defensive and I told her that (knowing that this was not her point) I would always act like this and GET INVOLVED – ESPECIALLY since I have a son because I don’t want him to be a person who doesn’t get involved. She looked at me as if to say “come on… you know what I mean!” And I did and I did promise her that I would be better (again, a promise that I feel like I have been making a lot lately).
Here are the questions I have:
Do these kids realize that I saved them from very serious criminal charges ??(if those dried leaves had caught, who knows how much damage, destruction, and death they could have caused).
Why were these kids out wandering the streets at midnight?
Where are their parents?
Why can’t adults confront young people who are out of order anymore?
How can I raise my son to NOT be like these kids and understand the ramifications of his actions?
AND… I promise that this blog won’t be a bunch of “gripes” and complaints (even though I feel like I have made this promise on every recent post).
So… I was out of town visiting family over the weekend in a relatively sleepy little suburban town. We were returning to our relatives’ home after meeting up with some friends for dinner when we saw some people standing near a fire burning on the street. At first, we couldn’t figure out what was going on – was this a bonfire? A campfire? What? It was strange because their neighborhood is so quiet, exclusive, and dark (and near a huge lake) so we couldn’t wrap our minds around the fact that this fire could have been started by stupid or irresponsible people with very bad intentions. However, as we got closer to the fire and the “fire-starters,” it was ABUNDANTLY clear that these people were attempting to cause very real damage.
I drove past our turn and I pointed my headlights on the fire that was just starting to catch on the dried leaves in the wooded area next to a pretty large suburban home. I didn’t even look at the people who were moving quickly away from the “scene.” Without thinking, I grabbed three ½- empty water bottles and jumped out of my car and quickly put out the fire (the fire was starting to spread and if it was about 30 seconds later, I would not have been able to put it out). As I am putting out the fire, I see two people run from the yard of the house closest to the fire. At the same time, from the shadows, I hear someone say “why you putting out that fire?” I was too focused on not getting burned to answer this ridiculous question.
So far so good, right? In my mind, up to this point, I have done what any responsible citizen should do, right? Well, here in the story is where I diverge from smart/responsible behavior. As I get back in the car, that question; “Why are you putting that fire out?” really irked me (and, at the same time, made me realize that these people are young and it is late!!). Again, without thinking, I turn the car around and drive up to the group of 8 teenagers - WITH MY WIFE AND CHILD IN THE CAR! I slow down and roll my window down (this clearly surprised this group of people – 2 ran into the bushes and the rest clearly stiffened up). I had the following exchange:
Me: (asking a relatively stupid question of them): “What are you doing?” or “Why are you starting fires in this neighborhood?”
One of the kids: Whatever, Nigga!
Me: (I didn’t grow up in an era when not EVERYONE could use any derivative of this word): Did you just call me nigger?
Same kid: Whatever!
Me: (opening my door) No, not whatever, did you just call me nigga?
My wife: Don’t engage these stupid kids – let’s go!
Something about her words totally chilled me out and I decided to let it go . Also, it struck me that they couldn’t see me and weren’t calling me a Nigger but trying to be cool and use “Nigga” like we used to use “man.” AND, I am a pretty large GROWN man and nothing good could have come from me confronting a group of kids! So, the adult version of me closed the door, turned the car around , which enabled me to SEE the kids’ faces and some of them were African American. However, while seeing that some of these kids were African American made me feel better about hearing the word “nigga,” it made me deeply concerned that these kids were in this affluent neighborhood, lighting fires. Now, I know that we are in the era of Obama and many of my conspiracy theories are going to fly out of the window if he is elected as our next President but I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT THIS COUNTRY HAS CHANGED SO MUCH that if the police had gotten there in time they would not have singled out the black kids in the group (or, at a minimum, the long-term legal implications for them would be much greater as I KNOW that the law still works in a downward direction).
Anyway, I called the police and told them about these kids lighting fires… We went home and put OUR kid to bed. After he was asleep, my wife got very serious with me and asked me to be much more mindful and thoughtful about “getting involved” with stuff like that- especially since we have a child now! I admit that that made me feel a little defensive and I told her that (knowing that this was not her point) I would always act like this and GET INVOLVED – ESPECIALLY since I have a son because I don’t want him to be a person who doesn’t get involved. She looked at me as if to say “come on… you know what I mean!” And I did and I did promise her that I would be better (again, a promise that I feel like I have been making a lot lately).
Here are the questions I have:
Do these kids realize that I saved them from very serious criminal charges ??(if those dried leaves had caught, who knows how much damage, destruction, and death they could have caused).
Why were these kids out wandering the streets at midnight?
Where are their parents?
Why can’t adults confront young people who are out of order anymore?
How can I raise my son to NOT be like these kids and understand the ramifications of his actions?
