In a previous post you may remember it was mentioned that I'm not funny, and I stated that I was in a dark space. I haven't blogged much for various reasons, this being one of them. Well I've been thinking about this. Whether you read my blog or you don't, if you even know it exists or choose not to read because I'm "not funny" or because I'm not a little ray of sunshine (news, folks, I'm never sunshiney!), you can't deny my realism. If you're looking for a blog that's going to make you laugh with every post, or inspire you with every blogged run, or motivate you to get out there, you're probably in the wrong place at least half of the time. If you're looking to possibly relate to someone else's struggle, determination, successes AND failures then by all means read on (and drop me your link if you have a blog/facebook page/youtube!) and let me know you're here.
(...and there's your cheesy Lifetime movie summation for the day, folks. *gag*)
We're all in this shit storm together.
So Dear August,
I have a few things I want to say to you. Not all of them are kind and not all can be said on a public forum as I'm a nurse and the law frowns upon it (those are really the same things). I am going to say what I can.
I love and hate you this year.
This year you've seen me end a job that I shouldn't have been at in the first place. A job that as I drove to, I wanted to cry every time. I should thank you for this, actually. The job I was recruited to a year ago - under the impression I was going to a trauma unit that turned out to be a surgical unit when I applied for an oncology unit - reached it's limit for me. At this job I worked with some of the worst (personality and professionally) nurses I've ever worked with, as well as some of the absolute best nurses (best people) I've ever met in my life. Leaving there lifted a weight off of me that I hadn't realized had been pushing me down.
I've been having migraines again, off and on. This is always a good time. I chalk it up to stress, but aside from the Topamax (thank you, most compassionate Universe) I have very little by way of managing these as I've never managed to find any specific "triggers". A migraine pretty effectively derails me for the rest of any given day (or two, or three..)
I have slowly been increasing my running distance, but not my speed. I wish I had a watch that would track mileage but not time/speed. I use both my FitBit Blaze (which is fantastic for steps, heart rate, etc., but not so much for mileage as it doesn't always connect, nor does it always seem the most accurate) and Garmin Forerunner 110 (which is so last, um, several seasons ago, but I love this thing!) I'm still struggling with deconditioning, back/hip pain/discomfort, knee pain (I still hate PT), and motivation, so I'm trying to not make running suck more than it does right now by not worrying trying not to care about my snail-through-molasses speed.
I am slowly regaining respect for my ability and what I am able to do.
So fuck you, spinal issue, I STARTED running because I had a problem with my knees.
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”
― Fred Rogers
If you are able, please help:
How to help the victims of Hurricane Harvey abc7chicago
Aid Hurricane Harvey Victims CNN
Here's How to Help the Victims of Hurricane Harvey Huffington Post
Don't forget the area's shelters!
Hurricane Harvey Help Austin Pets Alive
Hurricane Harvey: who is doing what for animals? animals24-7
How to Support Animal Shelters During Hurricane Harvey Bustle
Please behave...
