My knees hurt. My knees started hurting tonight before I ran 3 miles. Have you ever known me to run only 3 miles? Well I haven't. Not since whenever I reached three miles without knowing I was running that far.

What's the secret? Sports doctors? Better shoes?

I refuse to believe that before ever running a mile in my life that I acquired knee problems that are actually this problematic. And both knees? Seriously? Who the fuck does that happen to? I lost weight over the last couple years and that's when the knee issues appeared, not before.

I've tried ice, rest, anti-inflammatories, elevation. My knees still fucking hurt. I can't even tell you most times which one hurts worst. This isn't one of those times - tonight, it's my right knee after the run. It was the left during. Is that even remotely logical?!

I can't begin to put into written words how badly this is pissing me off. I've been putting off the doctor on the chance he says, "hey, idiot, stop running!" and I'm not going to take his advice anyway if that's what it is.

I'd ask for suggestions from my readers, except most of you (and yes, I know you're there) would rather stalk me in silence than give me any advice. On the off chance you buck up and can help me out here, I swear I'll listen and try any recommendation you think may help. Anyone?

Hello?