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Pressure to be Perfect

We are females and we are African, so we have a double whammy and the Pressure comes from both sides. Because we are women, there is the expectation that we need to be beautiful, classy, curvy and feminine. We have pressure from society to be perfect in the way we look and act. Because we are African, there is an expectation from our parents as well as ourselves to be 10 times smarter, better at school and work because we are black.

Peer Pressure By Hannah Nino
Photo Taken March 29 2009
 CC-BY-NC-ND 2.0


I find that as an African female, what my parents expect from me is different to if I were an African male. This is because we need to be the perfect daughter who doesn't drink, go clubbing and sleep around but stays at home studies, gets good grades and waits until marriage to have sex. My mum always brags about me to her friends, to other parents and if I'm not being the "perfect daughter" my parents will tell me "You should be more like..."

Being raised in this environment you end up putting pressure on yourself and I am a perfectionist in my everyday life. I am not happy if I get a pass, I want to get high marks to make my parents proud as well as to feel a sense of purpose. I think the Western society has also put pressure on Africans in general because people generally think we are not as smart or we are not capable, we work to prove people wrong and be the best, better than they are.

I went to a school where the deputy principal put me in a lower level class without my permission and I was getting such high marks in all my classes and didn't understand why I wasn't being challenged and once I found out I moved to higher classes and now I was pissed so even though people thought I couldn't do it. I had the pressure and the drive to prove them wrong.

What do you all think about this? Do you get pressured to be perfect?


This post first appeared on The Modern African Woman, please read the originial post: here

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