I recently decided I wanted to learn a little bit more about the legendary Marilyn Monroe. I watched some videos on YouTube and was astounded to learn who she really was inside. In fact, I've been in a rather melancholy mood for a couple of days thinking about it. She wasn't a dumb blonde, she wasn't sex, she was a lost little girl who wanted so badly to be loved, needed, and accepted. I'm amazed at how timeless she was and how real she was. In the photos from her last few months of life she was completely honest, she put her whole self out there and you can still feel her, just by looking at those pictures, today. That blows my mind. She somehow gets you under her skin and makes you feel what she's feeling. How many people do you know of who can do that?

Of course, we all know how her story ended, but I don't think we should judge her so harshly. Too many people misunderstand fame, hoping that it will solve all their problems, erase all their hurt. Having hundreds of thousands of adoring fans may seem like a good idea, but at the end of the day they're just a remote source of trivial fascination. To survive unscathed in Hollywood you have to go into the business relatively healthy with a solid foundation outside of your work. You have to look at it as what it is, a high profile job, not your salvation. It will only magnify any problems and insecurities you already have and dump new ones on top of you. She, unfortunately, got tangled up in this downward spiral, but I forgive her for that.

Before all this, I had been watching documentaries on Audrey Hepburn and the contrast between these two actresses was heartbreakingly apparent. To Audrey, acting was a Career and a career only. It wasn't even terribly important to her. She always kept things in perspective and wasn't afraid to do what she had to do. She took long respites away from Hollywood to be with her family and friends, not caring what effects it might have on her career, and was all the better for it.

Too many stars become slaves to the business because they don't have any other source of being and it all ends in tragedy. It's depressing to think about. And I have been thinking about it - a lot. I've been so deeply moved by Marilyn’s life and I can't really express all that I'm feeling right now. It's strange. Maybe I'm mourning her, in a way; mourning not only her death but her life. She was a real person, all stars are real people. It's strange to think so, but Marilyn reminds me that it's true. It's so easy to connect with her, to feel that "human element", because she was thinking what we all think. We all know what it is to need to be needed, loved, wanted, and cared for. She was honest about it, maybe not in so many words, but you look at her and you just know. And it breaks my heart. At her highest points and at her lowest points she was always honestly and distinctly human. That's a lot to contemplate, but I think it's worth the effort.

This tribute to Marilyn is beautiful, poignant, and haunting:

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

-Keane