It’s summertime. And it’s GlobalWarmingHot in LaLaLand.
Naturally, EnviroWoman has been thirsty. But since taking the NoNewPlasticPledge soda pop is outta the question. Milk has also proven to PlasticProblematic. And Plastic-bottled water just has MAJOR SIN written all over it.
So EnviroWoman headed to the juice aisle to quench her thirst with liquid joy.
Ever the optimist, EnviroWoman was half-hoping to find the PlasticFreePromisedLand there. But truth be known, EnviroWoman is also a hard core realist and half-expected to find plastic, plastic everywhere and not a drop to drink.
The realist won.
If that isn’t bad enough, Envirowoman has been travelin’. By car. By cab. By bus. By skytrain. By airplane. Confined within four walls and four wheels for hundreds of miles at a time – sometimes crammed in with other hot humans - making the heat even more unbearable.
Naturally, EnviroWoman has been thirsty. But since taking the NoNewPlasticPledge soda pop is outta the question. Milk has also proven to PlasticProblematic. And Plastic-bottled water just has MAJOR SIN written all over it.
So EnviroWoman headed to the juice aisle to quench her thirst with liquid joy.
Ever the optimist, EnviroWoman was half-hoping to find the PlasticFreePromisedLand there. But truth be known, EnviroWoman is also a hard core realist and half-expected to find plastic, plastic everywhere and not a drop to drink.
The realist won.
Almost everything is packaged in plastic on the juice aisle. Makes sense....lighter weight....less breakable.
And if juice isn’t in plastic bottles, then it’s in tetra-paks, which contain a layer of plastic. Even cans of tomato or pineapple juice have a thin interior liner of plastic laquer. (You know, the whole ‘plastic lining inside’ thingy is really starting to get tedious isn’t it?)
Even EnviroWoman’s absolute fav, fav, fav, powdered Good Host Lemon Iced Tea (which ironically, is best served hot), has a plastic lid crowning the glory of its cardboard and tin container.
The situation was starting to look grim in the juice aisle. Even most jars of the family standby, Welch’s juices, were made of plastic. But like a beacon of hope, they still offered one - White Grape Juice - that came in a glass jar with a metal lid.
And if juice isn’t in plastic bottles, then it’s in tetra-paks, which contain a layer of plastic. Even cans of tomato or pineapple juice have a thin interior liner of plastic laquer. (You know, the whole ‘plastic lining inside’ thingy is really starting to get tedious isn’t it?)
Even EnviroWoman’s absolute fav, fav, fav, powdered Good Host Lemon Iced Tea (which ironically, is best served hot), has a plastic lid crowning the glory of its cardboard and tin container.
The situation was starting to look grim in the juice aisle. Even most jars of the family standby, Welch’s juices, were made of plastic. But like a beacon of hope, they still offered one - White Grape Juice - that came in a glass jar with a metal lid.
Alas, under that little cap rests a thin plastic liner which acts as a seal, so Envirowoman would have to commit a MINOR SIN to buy it and be prepared to add the liner to her plastic shrine. Bottles of Ripena blueberry juice, SunRype, and Hero juices were packaged the same way.
And then there was Crystal Lite, which looked so promising in its pretty little box and paper/foil pouches. Plastic free and low-cal to boot. But aspartame is EnviroWoman’s migraine-inducing nemesis, so even Crystal Lite was off limits.
Fortunately, not all was lost. ‘Cuz lookie there…Koolaid. The packages appear to be paper and foil. Let’s cross our fingers there’s no plastic lining lurking deep inside. Have to research that one. Wow, EnviroWoman hasn’t had Koolaid in years. She’d feel like a kid again. ‘Goodbye Oil of Olay, hello Koolaid!’ Yuppers, Koolaid might really be a plastic-free possibility.
Undaunted by her trip to the juice aisle, Envirowoman hoped she’d find juice crystals at the bulk bin mecca.
And then there was Crystal Lite, which looked so promising in its pretty little box and paper/foil pouches. Plastic free and low-cal to boot. But aspartame is EnviroWoman’s migraine-inducing nemesis, so even Crystal Lite was off limits.
Fortunately, not all was lost. ‘Cuz lookie there…Koolaid. The packages appear to be paper and foil. Let’s cross our fingers there’s no plastic lining lurking deep inside. Have to research that one. Wow, EnviroWoman hasn’t had Koolaid in years. She’d feel like a kid again. ‘Goodbye Oil of Olay, hello Koolaid!’ Yuppers, Koolaid might really be a plastic-free possibility.
Undaunted by her trip to the juice aisle, Envirowoman hoped she’d find juice crystals at the bulk bin mecca.
So she whistled to her trusty steed, MyLittleCar (who looks slightly sadder and neglected nowadays with that dent in the door), and made the long trek to SuperStore. It was there she hit the plastic-free jackpot. There, in all their BulkBinGlory, live 5 assortments of powdered juice crystals. So she filled one of her handy-dandy reuseable Chinese Take Out boxes to the brim with powdered pink lemonade and rode off into the GlobalWarmingSunset on her mighty steed.
Now discovering powdered juice crystals in the bulk food aisles may be slightly less momentous than the opening of an umbrella in your own life. But for EnviroWoman, who is deeply steeped in the NoNewPlasticPledge, discovering a completely plastic-free alternative is…well…a small victory.
Now, you may be also thinking….'EnviroWoman why not just drink tap water!? ‘Tis true EnviroWoman doesn’t have the mental capacity to split atoms in her spare time, but SweetCheeks, drinking water IS an obvious alternative - even to EnviroWoman.
Now discovering powdered juice crystals in the bulk food aisles may be slightly less momentous than the opening of an umbrella in your own life. But for EnviroWoman, who is deeply steeped in the NoNewPlasticPledge, discovering a completely plastic-free alternative is…well…a small victory.
Now, you may be also thinking….'EnviroWoman why not just drink tap water!? ‘Tis true EnviroWoman doesn’t have the mental capacity to split atoms in her spare time, but SweetCheeks, drinking water IS an obvious alternative - even to EnviroWoman.
But sometimes she just wants…a tincture of juicy bliss.
Now, I’ll let you in on a little secret. EnviroWoman is going through a major HorseShoesUpHerButt phase right now. 'Tis true. This could even have the potential to be a lottery-winning lucky streak if she plays her cards right.
And here’s an example of this good karma in action….while holidaying in July, EnviroWoman visited her CountryCousin. When CountryCousin heard about EnviroWoman’s NoNewPlasticPledge she jumped on the no-plastic bandwagon and presented EnviroWoman with an antique juicer. It happened she had three, and even a CountryCousin only needs one. The third one had come into her own life just days before when an uncle had ‘downsized’ during a recent move.
Now, I’ll let you in on a little secret. EnviroWoman is going through a major HorseShoesUpHerButt phase right now. 'Tis true. This could even have the potential to be a lottery-winning lucky streak if she plays her cards right.
And here’s an example of this good karma in action….while holidaying in July, EnviroWoman visited her CountryCousin. When CountryCousin heard about EnviroWoman’s NoNewPlasticPledge she jumped on the no-plastic bandwagon and presented EnviroWoman with an antique juicer. It happened she had three, and even a CountryCousin only needs one. The third one had come into her own life just days before when an uncle had ‘downsized’ during a recent move.
It was sitting there on her kitchen counter, just waiting for a new home. And in walked HorseShoesUpHerButt EnviroWoman.
It’s a big chunk of LittleHouseOnThePrairie metal that serves double duty as a juicer and as a bicep-toner. (Oh my gawd, there may be a new infomercial fitness product in there somewhere. Step aside Suzanne Sommers). It works like a dream, is easy to clean, and let’s EnviroWoman concoct her own homemade juicy delights. Completely plastic-free.
Martha would be so proud.
I mean, really, how karma lucky was that little interlude?
Gotta luv the CountryCousin. Gotta luv my LittleHouseOnThePrairie juicer.
So there you have it. EnviroWoman is all set to quench her thirst.
Hey MomNature, you can bring on those hot summer days now. EnviroWoman is all ready. But please, don’t burn up any more forests.
Anyhoo, here’s how things add up:
Gotta luv the CountryCousin. Gotta luv my LittleHouseOnThePrairie juicer.
So there you have it. EnviroWoman is all set to quench her thirst.
Hey MomNature, you can bring on those hot summer days now. EnviroWoman is all ready. But please, don’t burn up any more forests.
Anyhoo, here’s how things add up:
Category: Juice
SAINTs: Fresh fruit magically morphed by the LittleHouseOnThePrairie juicer, Powdered no name juice crystals in the bulk bin aisle, potentially small packages of Koolaid, and even Crystal Lite (if you’re okay with aspartame), and if one is willing to commit a MINOR SIN – Welch’s White Grape Juice, Ripena blueberry juice, Lakewood, and SunRype and Hero juices
Price: about the same
Quality: Admittedly, the powdered juice crystals are a bit sub par, but all other options are the same quality as their plastic-packaged counterparts
SINNERs: Nestea, Lipton Iced Tea, Tang, large containers of Koolaid, Country Style Lemonade, Safeway juice crystals and tetrapaks, Sun Rype, Nestea, Minute Maid, Cereo, Dole, Simply Delicious, Just Cranberry, Allen, SunnyD, Ocean Spray, most Welch's, Clamato, Heinz, Simply Nutrious, Santa Cruz, My Organic Bag, Triple Juices, R.W. Knudsen, Bremners, Fruit D'Or, Biota, Kiji, SoNu, Wild, Mornin Glory.
Lessons Learned:
- Life was greener way back when. Ma and Pa Ingalls never had plastic in their LittleHouseOnThePrairie. So if you still want ‘modern convenience’ sometimes rooting around an antique shop can provide you with plastic-free alternatives. Or in EnviroWoman’s case…visiting a CountryCousin.
