I've been home now for almost two weeks, and I have realized some things in this short time. For me personally I don't like the word early before early returned missionary. It doesn't matter how long you served, whether you served for two days or two years you are a returned missionary. You SERVED! You put that name tag on and told the Lord that you would serve him with all your heart might mind and strength. Things happen outside of our control, illness, problems at home, and other health problems. But just know that you served the Lord the best you could with the time you had. So when people ask you if you served a mission, just say yes. Who knows maybe they will do the math or find out from someone else. But you have zero obligation to tell them! Please, please, please don't let the word "early" take away from the wonderful experiences you had on your mission. Sadly people do judge, we are all human. And it hurts, a lot. Do not let that take away from your experiences! Please realize what matters is that you are still loving and serving the Lord to the best of your ability. Every missionary who came home earlier than planned did not make that decision lightly. It's something that comes with time, lots of prayer and lots of counseling with leaders. All of us are working on something, and some trials are a bit more visible than others. Don't let coming home earlier than planned define your life. You did the best you could with the time you had, be proud of that. Let it be a stepping stone to something bigger. For me, I am planning on serving a service mission. Others I know are starting school. There is something that you are meant to do, and I have learned that first you have to make a plan and take it to the Lord. He will let you know if your decision is the best one for you.
For those of you who came home for emotional or mental problems please don't feel like you need to keep it a secret. Share with those you trust, the more people who know the bigger support group you have. And I know it can be hard, I'm living it right now. It's especially difficult because it's not like a broken leg or a wound that someone can see. Its an internal thing that is hard to understand, but the Lord understands.
Again, don't let coming home early define who you are! You are not a failure. You aren't. You are a stronger than you think and are fighting a hard battle no matter why you came home. Just know that no matter what happens the Lord loves you. He loves you more than you can ever comprehend. You are working so hard! So incredibly hard! And sometimes its seems like more than we can bear, one of my best friends left for her mission yesterday and it hit me like a bag of bricks. I wanted to be on my mission, I wanted to go back so bad ASAP. But the Lord gently reminded me that I need to heal, and maybe going back is in the plans. But right now I need to focus on getting better. My mission plaque scripture and now my moto for my life is Be Still my Soul vs two and one of my favorite lines in it is, "thy God doth undertake, to guide the future as he has the past." Our Heavenly Father will not abandon you because of something that happened beyond your control. I have realized that you just can't pray everything away, sometimes outside help needs to be brought in. And our Heavenly Father knows this, he is going to be there for you every single step of the way. Just because your circumstances are out of your control, doesn't mean that they are off limits for Heavenly help. Remember you are loved, and nothing can ever change that.
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