Today was a good day, this morning I got set apart as a church service Missionary. It was seriously amazing. I was handed a name tag and was asked to put it on. I get to wear a name tag again!!!! I am an official church service missionary!!! It's seriously so hard to put all of these emotions into words. I've been set apart as a missionary twice now. This time was different than the first time. It seriously felt like a piece of my soul that I had been missing for the past month was given back to me.
I have learned to rely on the promises in the song "Be Still My Soul" a lot, especially the line "... thy God doth undertake to guide the future as he has the past...". I know I am meant to be a missionary for this portion of my life, this definitely was not what I was expecting. At all. If what I expected to happen happened I would still be on my mission in New York and you would not be reading this right now. However I've learned that truly God's plans are not our plans. He is the watchman on the tower, he can see things that we can't see. New York was just part of the plan for me, and now here I am serving at the brand new Family History Center in Layton (it's not open yet... I'll let you know when I know the exact date. :) ).
I miss New York, a lot. Hence why today is kind of Bittersweet. Today brought back a lot of really good memories. A ton of really good memories. If I could jump on a plane right now and go to New York I would, but at the same time there is so much good waiting for me here in Layton. And sometimes to our most fervent wishes and hopes the Lord's answer is no. I am not meant to go back to New York. And I've fully made peace with coming home early today. I have made peace with the fact that emotionally I just can't be a full time missionary. However I can still serve the Lord in my own way, so here I am serving a service mission and I couldn't be more excited. :)
