She Sits across from him. He sits across from her. She holds his gaze, but not really; there’s an uneasiness behind the dark irises he knows –– or knew –– so well.
She sits across from him, and she is so beautiful. She’s wearing the pink frilly blouse that only looked good on her, no one else. It’s ’cause my skin’s so pasty, she’d said before.
Pasty. Paste.
The barista calls his name from the bar. She offers to get the drinks for them, of course, but it’s alright –– you bought them, I’ll get them –– but it’s okay –– but –– no, I insist. He makes his way to the bar, rubs his palms together, wonders how she’s a million miles away while sitting in front of him, and grabs the two cups, in that order. He still knows her favorite order by heart –– she’d given him a small, albeit sad smile when he’d done it for her.
Caramel cappuccino. Extra hot. Extra whipped cream.
She sips it, leaving a bit of cream on her upper lip, and God, he thinks, she is just absolutely beautiful.
And he knows he’s going to lose her.
He smiles and asks her how she’d been. She’s fine. Everything’s fine. She smiles back, and a part of him wishes she’d just say the words, but his heart, the silly old thing, hopes that the small talk lasts forever. Every second, every roll of her tongue, every unsure smile. It’s all he had left, after all. God, let him have this.
She asks him how he’d been.
A part inside his chest Suddenly snaps and throbs –– a deep hollow drum –– and it’s suddenly a pain to breathe. Why? Was it the way she pursed her lips (the way she used to when she said things she didn’t really care for) when she asked? Was it her eyes, that kept darting back at her favorite coffee, the cup suddenly the most interesting thing in the world in that moment? Was it how she’d been continuously tapping her foot to the ticking of her wristwatch?
He’d been counting the seconds for him to come home to see her, and here she is, counting the seconds for him to leave.
Her brows begin to furrow with worry. He puts on a smile again, one last time.
I’ve been good.
