Research says that, for anything Negative you say to someone you have to say 7 positives to nullify the effect. So, basically, if you say “I hate your guts” but later say “I am sorry I did not mean it” will not cut it. You have to say:

“I Love how brave you are”
“I love that you follow your heart”
“I love how understanding you are when I get mad at you”
“I love your inputs on a decision”
“I love to hear your voice in the morning when I wake up”
“I love spending time with you and would love to do that this weekend”
“I love you”

And you know what all of this has to be said not one after the other. And you have to mean it. This applies to your child, employee, business partner, life partner, parents, and any other relationship you value in your life. If you do not want to find yourself at a crossroad where you question the said relationship at some point, you follow this. Be verbal. It is not cheesy, it is necessary. Our brains are wired to love compliments, and that matters.

I have myself been told I remember something negative that has been told to me, and use it in another argument if a similar situation arises. Basically, I have been accussed of being vindictive. But what I am saying here is everyone is wired to be vindictive unless the one on the other side makes sure that they are vocal about good things too.

I think in our fast paced stressed out lifestyles, we assume that the good sentences mentioned above are obvious, and one is just supposed to point out bad things (when an argument happens). How does that work?

Resolving a Conflict, involves two steps, first resolving the conflict, and second making ammends for the damages done when the conflict arose.

If you think, yeah I have resolved the conflict, and hence move on, oh boy you are wrong! Amends! Or else it will come up again. “You always do this” or “You never do this” and we all know how that works for any conflict.

Heck, I sound so preachy! But I know I am right. (Arrogant!)

— Signing off!!