Hey internet!

I’ve had a particularly Weird day, I was clearing out my phone and I came across photos that were from another Period of my life.

A period I had stopped thinking about but every so often it comes back to memory, a period of time that was extremely monumental into making me who I am today.

It’s weird to think that period of time was just a couple of years back when it feels like it’s been a millennium, but after a very long time, I’ve been able to look at this part of my life with not just guilt, anger, sadness, but with nostalgia.

Nostalgia because I am finally secure enough in the current life I’m living to admit that even when I felt like everything in my life was going wrong, I was happy. I had people who made me happy.

I can admit that there are things about that life that I do miss.

It’s strange.

A lot of people in my life now, don’t remember that time or don’t even know what that time was like, they only know of it because I’ve shared it and so it becomes easier for them to criticise the people and the events that happened.

But it’s harder for me to do, I love the people that I no longer talk to because of everything that happened, I have memories, shared secrets, conversations till the early morning, goofy singing, ugly photos, videos and pictures aplenty of us being just people who loved one another.

I know how things ended, I know why it needed to end.

But sometimes I can’t help but just want to talk to all of them again, to be friends again, to have those connections we built be the same as they were then.

To still be each other’s backbones and confidants, instead of Instagram followers that watch one another grow from a distance.

To be able to drop them a text even know just to check in, to know they are fine, to be able to talk if they aren’t.

It’s just my old little heart believing everything can be fixed.

But maybe we need a couple more years before either one of us can try,

Would either one of us even want to?

Would we even remember then or will it take another day of decluttering our phones to reminisce about an old friend?

An old family

I don’t know.