to the boy i Love too much, too little,
thank you for listening and thinking and talking
on days I wish the world would just stop.

for wondering if my Heavy Heart was feeling lighter,
for knowing my heavy heart will one day become lighter.

you talk to me like we’ve known each other in a different life,

one where I smiled more,
one where I was me

but not so depressed.

for every time you talk about what you see in me,
all I see is the projection of someone I can only dream to be.

you make my days go from black to yellow,
from reds and blues to greens and purples.

it makes me want to curl up into a ball and feel the warmth,
on days that i would otherwise be screaming until my throat was hoarse.
it makes me want to dance to the happiest music
on days that would otherwise be filled with a sharpened knife and pants that hung low.

to the boy i love too much, too little,
i wish you too could see from my eyes,
how beautiful of a human you are,

when you spend countless hours listening to me whine,
with not a groan or sigh of disgust and contempt.

when you listen to my plans to die and softly murmur
but you’re not actually going to, right?

when you speak to me as not a little child who does not know better
but as a capable adult who’s just had a little bit too much to drink.

” you know better,
you understand,
it’s just right now things are a little out of hand.
it will pass.”

so here’s to the boy,
I love
too much and too little.