Bonjour Guys!
So today’s post is going to be a little bit more serious in tone than normal. But I’ve had so many recent encounters where I have been asked about the topic of feminism lately that I feel the universe is pushing for me to air my opinion.
Now before I begin, I just want to give the following disclaimer. This blog is meant to be a positive space for people to openly share their opinions. In that spirit, I just want to emphasize that this is MY personal opinion. If you don’t agree with it that’s totally fine. If anything I invite you to share YOUR personal opinion in the comment section. I always love hearing from people with differing opinions. Now that we have that sorted, here goes.
Feminism has personally never been a word that I have felt an association with. Yes, I LOVE being a woman, I LOVE women and I am always blown away by the strength and power of the female gender. But still feminism has never seemed MINE. The word feels abrasive to me. Violent and confrontational. Male. When I think of feminism I think of women in trousers, fighting for the right to sit at the ‘Big Boys Table’ and be respected as such. I think of women burning bras and encouraging one other to get out of the kitchen and into the work place. And though I am forever grateful that I can openly wear my skinny jeans and leggings without reprimand, I see a GRAVE flaw in the mentality that I believe is deeply engrained in the feminist psyche.
The psyche in question is that women can do everything men can do and should be given equal opportunity to do so. On the surface, that seems like a great and reasonable sentiment. I definitely believe there is very little men can do that we as women can’t do (or do better (wink*)). But stop and consider what we are saying about what women do. What we are saying about traditionally FEMALE roles. By pushing for women to enter and be treated equally in male roles and by making that a driving force of the movement, we are implying that traditionally male roles are somehow more POWERFUL and ESSENTIAL than female roles. That traditionally male positions in society are the ones that should be coveted. This to me is a spit in the face of women and incredibly UNFEMINIST.
Feminism should not largely be about women occupying traditionally male roles. At its core, the feminist movement should be about pushing for the acknowledgement and respect of traditionally female roles. A stay at home mother who takes care of her children, home and husband should be given the same reverence as a CEO of a Top 40 Company. After all, behind that CEO is a woman who birthed him, a woman who raised him, and as is mostly the case, a woman who supports him and raises his children. We idolize these successes in the traditionally male arena, forgetting and not acknowledging the women that allow for these successes to come to be.
What is also a worrying trend for me is the disparity between the feminist successes in legislation and the feminist failures in society. Yes, the gender pay gap may be slowly decreasing, and there may be more supportive legislation for women who want to have both a family and career. But at the same time, women have never been more objectified, disrespected and sexualized than they are today. Women are no longer just women, we are ladies, THOTs, pretty-young-things, bitches, bad-bitches, tricks, mamis, dime pieces; need I go on. And each of these terms corresponds with a different level of respect. That’s right, women no longer receive respect for just being women, we receive the respect society (mostly men) decide we deserve. And to make it worse, we as women play into our own degradation. Never has it been more acceptable to sexualize yourself as a woman as it is today. Women openly walk around pretty much naked *cough* Kardashians *cough* and unlike older cultures where a woman’s nakedness was not sexualized for men’s pleasure, these women strike the most seductive raunchy poses and wear the most seductive clothing. It is very CLEARLY male-targeted. And for those who insist that women respect themselves and value their bodies enough to not making them public commodities, they are labeled backward, and even laughably, OPPRESIVE. It is oppressive for women to be asked to respect themselves. Ummmm…..huh??? (DISCLAIMER: This is not to say that I support women not being given a choice. I support women making the RESPECTABLE choice for themselves.) (DISCLAIMER 2: women can and do show their nakedness in a non sexual and sometimes artistic manner. These are not the women I’m talking about).
More so, the disregard and stigma associated with traditionally female roles continue. I remember being in my senior year of high school, and sitting around with a group of my girlfriends as we went around the circle saying what we all wanted to be when we grew up. Pretty much all of us were going to college and wanted to be doctors, lawyers, professors, business owners etc. Then one of the girls in the group says, and without any embarrassment, ‘I want to be a stay at home mum.’ Silence. Uncomfortable silence. What do you mean ‘a stay at home mum’? You must mean that you want to run a business from home right? Get this! The idea of a woman raising her kids and being a wife seemed dirty and unworthy to a circle of WOMEN. Are you seeing the problem? We live in a world that celebrates and encourages traditionally male roles above all else to the point where even YOUNG GIRLS think traditionally female roles are somewhat lesser. PROBLEM!!!
Furthermore, this controversy that has been going on recently about women breast-feeding in public, shows even MORE clearly, how bad the situation is. Women are allowed to walk around with see-through tops and their boobs popping out when it is for the sexual gratification of men but when a woman’s nakedness is not for sexual gratification (i.e. FEEDING HER CHILD or BIRTHING her child for that matter) her nakedness is offensive. In THOSE situations, her nakedness should be private. PROBLEM!!!!
I could unfortunately probably go on and on but I think I’ll stop at that. Partly because I really want to know what YOU think about feminism and the points I’ve raised. I do however think it is important to say that, I am not discrediting the feminists who are pushing for the equal treatment of women in the work place or in other male-centered arenas. My point is that there is an evident flaw in the pillars of feminism that needs to be addressed and corrected if we are to create a truly feminist or gender equal society.
With that, I give the floor to you. Remember to keep it positive and respectful.
Until Next Time,
The Hesitant Feminist
