I’m writing this one not in a crying bout at the moment.  It will come.

It’s the time of the year my mother died.   It miss her a lot.  When I get into these bouts, I want to talk to her.  She’s the one I could always depend on. On my way back from Augusta the other day, I was in the car and just started crying as I listed to some music.  I had had a great trip, but had a dream on the trip that just got to me.  I can rationalize the dream on a intellectual level, but on the emotional level, it hit me like a gut punch.

So yes, I give people warnings as to why I am distanced this time of year.  It’s supposed to be a happy one.  And it’s hard to be happy when you’re at your lowest.  And maybe on day, I won’t be alone.  I really think it’s about feeling all alone.

With that being said, I decided to do something this year for someone else.  I decided to create two Boxes for Operation Christmas Child. I don’t have a husband, boyfriend, nor kids, but I wanted to give the Christmas miracle to a couple of kids.  I made a box for a boy and a girl, each, about age 10-14.  I decided that would be the best age to get my gift.  I don’t know how often they get boxes, but I know with the Angel Trees here in the States, those kids are always the last to be taken off the tree.

I should chip in for a kid here locally as well.  I will see.

For the OCC kids, I gave each a magic towel, a dish towel, soap, toothbrush and toothpaste, some pencils, a pencil sharpener, scissors, a flashlight, a New Testament Bible, a pad of paper, a small Christmas ornament, and some Everlasting Gobstobbers.  For the boy, I gave him Hot Wheels, a pair of wire cutting pliers, a small football, a yo-yo, a Rubik’s Cube, and a few other items I felt a boy would like. For the girl, I gave her a coloring book with crayons, a teddy bear, a necklace, and a coin purse, to name a few. I also sent them a Christmas card with postcards with a little note on each one.

I am hoping that what I gave in each box is enough to broaden their horizons.  The Bible isn’t so much as to proselytize, but I thought a great way to try to allow the kids to learn English. Many people have learned English from the Bible alone.  I want them to see that the world is theirs for the taking.

So, while I will be suffering depression, I hope my actions to fight it will help others.  And believe it or not, I am looking forward to seeing where the boxes end up.  If a child wants to write me, even better.