Baby Boy,

I was feeling so much a couple of weeks ago that I almost wrote an intermediary letter to you. But then, I didn't.

SIX MONTHS!!!

Six months according to a calendar and choosing the 27th day, not six months according to a lunar calendar or...anyway, calendars are totally fucked up. I don't really like them, honestly. But still, here we are.

This past month has been a lot of things for me and a lot of movement for you. Like, A LOT! We have redone your "nursery," which is really now a play room. Because you move all over the place. You're so intensely curious and very, very grabby. You see something, you wanna put it in your mouth, you get to it so you can put it in your mouth...and if something is in your way, you are going to try to get over it, no matter how many times you fall over. You're a very determined little fucker and it is cute as hell.

Things you are doing :
Much laughter
Grabbing ALL the things
Interested in my mouth when I talk or sing or make noises
Making new noises
ALL the drool
Your first (and second) bath!
Lots of crawling and pre-crawling moves
Pre-sitting up moves
(Also, you sat up for about a minute yesterday)
Trying out new food (with little successful swallowing)
Really, really, really good laughter and squealing and excited noises

I keep notes and write down what you've done and put it in my planner. I probably could write a post a day with just a list of stuff you've done.

You have visited many more people, attended your first wedding, and been photographed with the bride and groom! You've gone to Cincinnati, and managed to get your hands on the cats. You've been held by a few more people and been outside more than expected because it's been warmer than expected. You sometimes get real mad and won't eat or go to sleep even when we both know you tired and/or hungry. Honestly, it's annoying and I can't wait for you to stop doing that.

People ask me if it's all going by too fast, and no, it's not. Some days, I actually feel like it's going by too slow. I really don't enjoy cleaning up all your various bodily fluids and I think I'll be pretty happy when you're managing that shit (literally) on your own. When you can walk and talk and get dressed and feed yourself, I think things will be more fun and less tedious. But you are adorable as hell and I just have to have patience while you grow up. You're growing at a very nice rate and I am appreciating everything as it happens.

As always, you make me laugh regularly and you make me frustrated far less often than you make me happy. You are a delightful little fucker. You are very smart and curious and athletic and so fucking cute that I really probably should look into making money off your looks. Whenever people meet you or see photos of you or pass you by in public, inevitably, you make them smile...and not just the kinds of people who love dogs and babies like I do, but even curmudgeonly assholes. You are much like the sun in that you do seem to brighten everyone's day. That's not hyperbole, either.

I am very interested in whatever you do next.

Hey Mama,

I don't have a lot to say today because there isn't a lot I can say. But I will tell you this : Keep trucking. You can do this. Also, it's ok to let shit go. You don't have to beat yourself up so much.

The upside of life is that the more you avoid people, the less you have to engage in that bullshit social contract of motherhood.

Current lesson learned : Babies are, apparently, like puppies...in that, the moment you get one, everyone seems to want to meet it. It is astounding how many people could not be fucking bothered with you, but now that you have a baby, it's all they wanna talk about. You gave in to this at first, but now you're over that. If motherfuckers wanna meet Baby Boy, then they could be your actual fucking friend first. You can feel grateful for their kind words and support and still not owe it to them to meet Precioso.

In other news, will life ever not suck? Forecast is doubtful.