I’ve started this year with three hours in the ER waiting for COVID results (negative eventually, so far) and the diagnosis of an ear infection for my toddler. And although it’s only the 11th day of January, March 2020 v3 continues unabated. We have had canceled events, postponed health appointments, family COVID cases, family illnesses, and a severe allergy to work with. We’re not even halfway through the month yet. It’s hard to say what’s different now compared to the last two years. Sometimes, I don’t quite know how to cope.

The intentionality of showing up for myself

I did an online Yoga class a couple of days ago (it’s anyone’s guess if I can stay motivated) where the teacher asks everyone to set an intention for the practice. The hardest thing is to show up on the mat. The practice itself generates enough endorphins to sustain itself, but it’s getting started that’s hard. As a mother sometimes my day, my mind, and my body all feel unavailable to me. It’s as if I’ve become a shared resource for my toddler. There are a few things that I do just for myself. Yoga and reading are those for me at this moment. So, it felt appropriate that despite the sh*tstorm the world is right now, I needed to show up for myself, intentionally.

Reading Lists

This year I started reading two books (one on Dec 31, so last year technically as you see below) that have been allowed me the mental space to think about life, decay, aging, death, loss, grief, moving on, and things that lie in between. I’ve also started reading paper books, to begin with, which just feels like a more present way of allowing words to seep in. I find myself distracted on walks with books. This feels old school and more even-paced. It takes me back to childhood feelings of wanting to curl up with books on a couch. I’ve lost all my books, but that feeling has sustained itself.

Dear Edward – Ann Napolitano:  It’s a fascinating premise and story set in a tragedy that lends it cinematic qualities. It’s quick-paced and interesting in its layout and shifting narratives. I read it quickly in a week all evenings with pleasure. But it’s not a book that is etched in my heart. And that’s only because the premise itself makes it page-turner but the writing somehow lags behind.

Last year in 2021 (better known as March 2020 v2), I heard mostly audiobooks, except Lahiri and Yun. Here’s what my list included:

1. Whereabout – Jhumpa Lahiri: I felt it just ended abruptly. It didn’t satisfy me entirely — like the protagonist’s year in therapy. Maybe I wanted some written word to punctuate what happens next or answer nuanced questions that arose slowly. It also lacked wild optimism and centered itself on spartan, realistic living. Two (plus one) years into the pandemic may be the reason for this, but at this point, I don’t mind wild, unbridled joy instead. No matter how I feel about the content though, Lahiri never fails to live up to her craft — especially her editing, so it’s always a tasteful read.
2. Untamed– Glennon Doyle: There’s a lot there to digest, in a good way ;
3. Less – Andrew Sean Greer : I began slow but ended up really liking everything about it;
4. Between Two Kingdoms– Suleika Jaouad: I did not listen to the ending fully, it also felt like I don’t want to hear about more cancer. But she really is a good writer. ;
5. A Place for Us – Fatima Farheen Mirza: I REALLY enjoyed it and I hope she writes a sequel ;
6. The Four Winds – Kristin Hannah: This I had to stop listening to, it got too depressing in the pandemic ;
7. Love is an Ex-Country – Randa Jarrar: Very unique but maybe just an audiobook? ;
8. Britt-Marie Was Here – Fredrik Bakman: Really delightful, somehow ;
9. Daisy Jones & the Six – Taylor Jenkins Reid: Loved it ;
10. The Ten Thousand Doors of January – Alix E. Harrow: Loved ;
11. The Perks of Being a Wallflower – Stephen Chbosky: The movie doesn’t do it justice. The book is good! ;
12. On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous – Ocean Vuong: It’s intense and will make you rethink everything you feel. ;
13. The Silent Patient – Alex Michaelides: I hope they make a film of this. What a fun thriller! ;
14. Inner Sky– Mari Andrew: Sensitive, like you expect Mari to be – here ;
15. The Henna Artist– Alka Joshi: What a stunning debut ;
16. Hunger: Roxane Gay: Her talent as a persuasive writer is clear ;
17. Love, Loss, and What We Ate: Padma Lakshmi here  (pass) ;
18. Everything I Never Told You – Celeste Ng here (stunning) ;
19. The Vanishing Half – Brit Bennett here (exceptional) ;
20. Caste – Isabel Wilkerson: Worth reading once
21. Some are always hungry – Jihyun Yun: The one poetry book on this list, totally worth it! ;

I Hope to get to more books this year!

Maybe this year will turn. I’m going to pretend it’s not fully begun yet.