I began this week with a mad rush of amazing recommendations of authors new and old that I am eager to start reading. Allowing myself a constraint of the South Asian / Indian experience is thrilling in that I can hear my ideas, voice, and feeling represented in a natural way without needing explanations. 

Thanks to Tanvi for recommending the Erotic Stories of Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal. It’s been a while since I’ve read a page-turner in four quick days. This isn’t just because of the lack of finding good books, but baby duties which as a new mom have often left me crying with exhaustion or resentment toward the entire universe at times. This sarees and books project takes me back to myself in helping find the courage to re-examine all that I care about. And what better book than this Jaswal entry that made me question my own subconscious biases.

It is true that the more specific you write, the more generic it becomes. In writing about adult or mature women from their 30s and older, living in a close community in South Hall, London, Jaswal questions women everywhere. The invisibility of women (the invisible woman syndrome) above a certain age is well documented. Add to it widowhood seen suspiciously (or as raging bad luck) by everyone in a traditional community.  Finding love, articulating desire or passion at this age or within their context feels awkward to the 20-something protagonist, and either evokes surprise or revulsion in most others.

Is there ever a right age to stop loving life, address mental and physical desires, and give in to mere mortality? What if it wasn’t a king like Yayati but a widowed queen Kunti who talked about unfulfilled desires? Would this switch find acceptance? The truth is that even in the 21st century it isn’t a topic that we find easily accessible to our own thoughts. Jaswal made me question this cultural narrative deeply, but with easy, vibrant, and fun energy. Not ever will I think of aubergines lightly now :-). It’s time we normalize finding our desires at any age as women. Bonus points when it comes with extra helpings of chai. 

I heard this book as an audiobook in the voice of Meera Syal who is tremendous. Audio always adds a dimension, and in this case, a good one. It reminded me of Bend it like Beckham in a good way. My only pet peeve was that the 22-year-old Nikki sounded too good to be true. I mean, I do not know many 20-somethings with such empathy and understanding of human nature. But maybe I am comparing my own 20s which weren’t much to write home about (as this blog can testify :D). 

I also ended up finishing a couple more books in this past week or two: Between the World and Me which promised more than it delivered. And City of Girls, a magnum opus I’d love to see in a film. There’s so much great energy and spark in that narrative. It felt just right despite its humble ending. 

What other books should I be reading?