This is my favorite topic these days. The good news about being a well traveled person is that you’ve traveled far and wide. The bad news is the unless your friends travel in the same time zones as you, it’s hard. Sometimes laziness (aka nap-times), and sometimes just the need for physical conversations can make it difficult. Long distance friendships are just as doomed as you would expect.
(Although it always feels nice, after a day you speak for hours dissing everything, especially affordability with Sabhyasachi. I missed these girls!)
Nap-time Versus Making Friends in Your 30s
Thirties are particularly difficult, because you have standards. Some ridiculous (e.g. Bibimbap) while some thought through (e.g. feminism). Like books, friends can make you question beliefs, and that’s exactly what is difficult to achieve with most acquaintances. Making friends in your 30s provides a plethora of options:
- A common hobby, activist idea or interest group
- An ethnic /religious group
- Old friends – because you spent middle school through college in one city
- Neighbors
- Play dates with other parents since you have kids
- Friends at work
- Institutional friends- meaning you studied together in the same place
- Blind dates at: Gym/bar/yoga class/vegan deli/farmer’s market/you pick
- Family relations
- Gaping hole of Internet
All of this in younger times was simpler:
- Studying in the same class
- Living in the neighborhood
In general, all those 1 to 10 options are cute, but I seem to have no time to do anything about things that I even like. And I don’t even have a baby (or dog) to take care of. I am submerged with the thoughts of grocery, yoghurt, lunch for the week, unanswered emails, books I’d like to read, random watercoloring fits, and nap-time. Sometimes I’m too exhausted, even if I’d like to be friendly. It’s easier to fall back to old friends who you don’t have to start explaining anything.
I’ve had a complete summer break from anything social (including the Internet, except random voyeuristic pleasure of going through Instagrammed Indian textiles). I wish we had a Brooklyn-esque borough to randomly hang around city steps or creative picnic spots. In these times, I miss the pretentiousness of Hauz Khas lanes.
Has black mirror created a 99.8% friendship yet?
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