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For the past four months or so, I have been extremely fragile and vulnerable owing to the situation at home which has majorly affected my entire life as I knew it. I’m not complaining or placing blame here; just trying to find a decent outlet for my emotions as always.

So Beardo and I had been talking pretty much every day or so. He’d gone on a trip with his friends over the last long weekend and still made it a point to text me, which of course made me feel elated. He was supposed to be back Wednesday morning, but I’m still not sure he is. My calls to him are going unattended, texts unanswered. We were planning to meet up with a Couple of ex-colleagues today, but he didn’t bother to confirm nor decline. They reached out to me and when I tried calling he Disconnected my call. I tried again today. Twice. Disconnected. Again. And again.

I feel like he’s shut me out all of a sudden and I don’t know why… Not the first time he broke my heart or hurt me and I should have known better … But riddle me this, how do you give up when you find someone who sees you for you?

To think it was this day last year that he called me out of the blue and rambled on four couple of hours about how much he liked me. And called again and again to convince me this wasn’t a bad idea. And now I’ve spent a year trying to get him to spend time with me, trying to get him to open up, trying to convince him we aren’t a bad idea…

This post first appeared on The Blue Denim Diary | Regrets, Thoughts, Rants, D, please read the originial post: here

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