Over a lunch break I went out with a new group of people from the other office department. I was asked, who are my friends in my office. I paused and realized, do I have a true friend or they are just my workmates, forced to get along because of.. because there is a need to. When all of this ends, will we still be the same, or our paths will go on a separate track and occasionally, say hi and hello's.

I have a friend since highschool, you might know him well because I mention him on this blog a dozen of times. Since we graduated in collage and started our careers, we grew apart and it seemed that I hardly know him now.

I still have a lot of friends back home, whenever I visit they are always there. They never fail to meet me up or hang around even though I know that they are busy with life stuff. :)

But that is in my hometown.

Here in the Metro... I'm not really sure.



Let me explain my set up, and hopefully by writing this I'll find an answer.

Office is fine, it's really a happy, humble place to work, lots of laugh, free minded people, easy to get along and a whole bunch of talented individuals.

In this bunch, I think I'm the oldest (ew gross!) yet I think I'm also a kid.. I just turned 27 this month and come to think of it I am a nearing my 30's.

I've never been on this spot.  We do have "older" and more "senior" staff. (to count: 4) and majority are in the early 20's and mid 25.

When I was starting out in my other jobs,  If I'm not the youngest, I'm the middle dude.. Still young I know... yet sometimes I'm having a difficulty socializing. Here is where my troubles brew.

I feel like I don't belong.

I'm not that old and also not that young. So? Where do I fit?

If I like to get wasted for example, who do I invite? Must I maintain the "kuya" (big brother) facade, or just get along with them influence them in a good way?

But they are just my co-workers. They are not my "friends". well yeah also friends but not really that close of a friend. Did you got that? My mind is a mess. sorry.

So. therefore I'm a bit lonely. I feel alone. 

So I tend to go on social media, look for some friends, ask them to hang out. Unlike my hometown where everyone is just a jeepney (local transportation)  away from you. Here when you try to invite someone to hang out it must always be the "half-way". It's a big city, and getting to point A from point B requires more than a jeepney away. The hassle of commuting, meeting up and going home. I'm not "used" to it. (yet)

So I hang out alone... a lot of times. 

It was okay... for quite sometime but it also gets to you, slowly creeping inside your gut... No TV show can cure it, No new movies can mend it. It's just there. You just try to ignore it.

I also try to get along with other people from other department.

Which is nice, lunch buddies, new stories however, getting along with that built friendship, inserting yourself to a full circle is a bit tough and need sometime before you can fully penetrate that circle.

I have a friends a lot of them actually. 

I came to realize friendships does not necessary a one-size-fits-all-kind-of-thing. It's a matter of choice. People around you may differ from age, social status, careers and even mind wave length. It all boils down to your choice if you want them to be part of your life for a moment or in a lifetime.

As for me. I'll stop searching for a that ideal type best friend. I'll settle for a bunch of friends I can relate to.

So if you have that one person that you probably took for granted and always at your side whatever shit-storm you do. You are one lucky son of a butcher. This time around, finding one is super rare than a celebi. (a pokemon)

Cheers!