It's Friday, it's after 5pm, so why the hell would I be working? Instead, I spend my time perusing Facebook, counting down the minutes until it's an acceptable time to scoot on out of here. But my time wasting adventure has left me nowhere but down - emotionally down. Every where I look, I see profile pics of people I used to know dressed in their wedding gowns, or with their children, and I feel this sadness, this painstaking longing, rush over me.
I have now reached the age where friends are getting Married, married friends are having babies, and even those who are divorcing are finding someone new. And while I know that I am a perfectly acceptable human being single, and I'm not feeling lonely per say, the Pressure I feel to start a family is unmatched. I end up jumping in the wrong direction to accomplish a goal that's not even mine, but the ideal in my head based on what the world, what society, is telling me. A friend recently told me he wanted to set me up with a co-worker of his, and I spent 15 minutes drilling him for information, trying to make it happen sooner, trying to find my mate. Stepping closer to walking through 30's door, and I almost feel that I have nothing to show for it. While this year is about changing some of that, it's no where near the area I think other people have surpassed me in.
Thoughts about my path in life have consumed me for the past 6-10 months. Questions about where I work, where I want to work, who I am, who I want to be, where my life has been and where my life is headed have had me look at everything. I've learned that my journey may not incorporate those ideals I feel such pressure to accomplish. But, it doesn't make that feeling go away.....it doesn't make the pressure any less.....
I have now reached the age where friends are getting Married, married friends are having babies, and even those who are divorcing are finding someone new. And while I know that I am a perfectly acceptable human being single, and I'm not feeling lonely per say, the Pressure I feel to start a family is unmatched. I end up jumping in the wrong direction to accomplish a goal that's not even mine, but the ideal in my head based on what the world, what society, is telling me. A friend recently told me he wanted to set me up with a co-worker of his, and I spent 15 minutes drilling him for information, trying to make it happen sooner, trying to find my mate. Stepping closer to walking through 30's door, and I almost feel that I have nothing to show for it. While this year is about changing some of that, it's no where near the area I think other people have surpassed me in.
Thoughts about my path in life have consumed me for the past 6-10 months. Questions about where I work, where I want to work, who I am, who I want to be, where my life has been and where my life is headed have had me look at everything. I've learned that my journey may not incorporate those ideals I feel such pressure to accomplish. But, it doesn't make that feeling go away.....it doesn't make the pressure any less.....
