I've decided to write again. I Guess i should have known better than to be so quick to give an end to my blog. I should have known that i just couldn't possibly handle my pointless life without the option to gripe and whine about it in writing along the way. Yes, this is a fantastic hideout for me when i am angry, when i want to shout and scream, when í am tired, when i feel tied up in messy knots and need to find a place where i can empty my lungs in heavy sighs or when all forms of communication seem to have broken down in my real life and i have become monosyllabic, this is the place i run to. Like what i am doing right now. So what have i been doing over the last couple of weeks? Slipping in and out of coma mostly. Yes, i do vaguely remember having gone to work, drowning my days in coffee and having one too many cigarettes till i feel sickish. Oh, and having slept through my Therapy sessions too. I think i don't need that anymore. I appreciate her efforts and she's a really sweet woman and all but perhaps i am just too stubborn and indifferent for therapy to work. I can't think of what she'll say when i tell her i don't need therapy anymore. Perhaps i could convey the message to her over the phone, would be alot easier. Or if i could do it through her assistant, it'll be no problem at all. I'm also thinking of finding a better place for little Smoochie. She'll be so much better off in a family that can take care of her needs without delay. I think its better this way, she doesn't need someone like me who seems to be perpetually chained and dragging a prison ball everywhere, or someone who's constantly threading on a thin line between light and darkness. Yes, it is probably better this way, i just haven't got the strength to let go. I just wished things were easier. Fuck, i really don't know what i am saying here. I must be losing my marbles forgetting where i dropped them or if i had them in the first place. I listen to those voices way too much. There was something else i had intended to unload here in this space but i have clearly forgotten what it is. Oh well, i'm going to load myself up with some ami. I have lots to spare, i guess afew more wouldn't hurt. I could do with some extra sleep.