i am suddenly hit by a feeling of sadness. sure, it doesn’t sound like something new, but this feels different from the usual apathy that i feel. it feels like my heart is heavy and it is sinking deeper and deeper as if i have just been thrown with some kind of dreadful news. and i feel lonely too like there is no one here to share this burden with me. it is as if someone had just Left me and a part of me is now missing. this is strange, there is no reason for me to feel this way all of a sudden. nothing devastating happened today or yesterday or last week. no one came and no one left. but i don’t know why i feel like someone did and left a hole inside me. i am left feeling empty, i am not sure by what force i feel this way. i want to stick my hand into my body and fill this missing part with something. or maybe stick it with glue to the rest of the organs. or is it my brain that needs this glue. i don’t want to feel anymore.